Plot Holes

Here you will find explanations for the lack of characters appearances during DBZ. All these are completely false, and made up by me, so don't take them seriously. They are merely here to get a few laughs off the visitors to the site, not to confuse people and convince them that Dragonball Z is some kind of a conspiracy with easy-going characters. Almost everything here is false, apart from the character names, they are all real. Anyway, read on.

Bulma     Gohan     Goku     Krillen     Piccolo     Roshi     Shenron     Vegeta              

GOKU: The plot holes in Goku’s life were due to his economical problems. Dragonball just wasn’t paying him enough, so he had to look elsewhere for a part-time job, whilst maintaining the series. Now, as everyone knows, it is real, but what most people didn’t know, is that Goku took a lot of time off, and just pretended to be doing things when he wasn’t doing anything at all. Naturally, when an evil bas guy attacks, Goku must fight him eventually, it would be stupid of him not to, but whilst he was away, and supposedly trying to get to the battle, he was taking breaks, and relaxing, knowing that he could just leave at the last possible moment.

When he was a little kid, there was a part about his past that was unknown. This was where he came from. I have inside information that explains the fact that Goku wasn’t sent to take over the Earth by the Saiyans, but merely a star in commercials. When talking about how Goku was sent in a pod down to Earth, the person speaking is making things up, as that would have been revealed far earlier if it had been true. No, before Goku was bought into Dragonball, he was a loveable star in a ‘Pampers Nappies’ commercial. He had the perfect face, and was just right for the role. There was soon a better looking, more adapt model though, meaning Goku was fired, and in search of work. He found the job as a small child in Dragonball, and took it obligingly.

Ever wonder why Goku died against Raditz? Was it because he sacrificed his life to kill the biggest threat in the Earths history? Of course not! He took his sick leave to write his biography. It was never published though, because true to his role in Dragonball Z, he isn’t particularly smart. The whole thing was worded badly, with frequent spelling and punctuation mistakes. The entire running of Snake Way was shot before he went off to do his writing, thus the reason that there is such a quaint amount of it.

Notice how when Goku was healing in hospital after the Saiyan fight, there was barely any footage of him. The reason: He was on holiday in the Bahamas, surfing, sunbathing, and checking out some chicks. This made him tired beyond belief, making him have to catch up on a great deal of sleep.

On that same subject, the reason why Goku got such a small role at the start of the Frieza saga, when he was supposedly in his spaceship, traveling there, is because he was sleeping so much, and the huge rings under his eyes took 15 hours in make-up to hide. Because of this, the scenes that he could star in were very limited.

What about when he was ‘Recovering’ in the regeneration tank? Of course he wasn’t actually healing, but rather watching some of the TV shows that he had missed whilst demolishing the Ginyu Force. True, he was actually hurt during the Ginyu fight, but that was solved with one mere sensu bean. What, did you really think that he didn’t hold one back for himself?     

VEGETA: Notice how there was so little of Vegeta before he came to Earth. As any simpleton would know, the reason is obvious. He and Nappa had satellite TV in their pods, and over 1,000 channels. With this, they decided not to star in the show at all, and not to bother training either, just sit around like mindless zombies for a year.

After the fight with Goku, Vegeta was on his way to Frieza’s docking station, and whilst there, he found romance in the form of a hermaphrodite, but things didn’t work out, and Vegeta ended up leaving her, going to planet Namek to get away. The fact that the Dragonballs were there too was an added bonus.

Notice how there was very little commentary when Vegeta was searching for Goku during the Garlic Jr. saga? The reason for this was because Vegeta was on the intergalactic tour of the Universe, enjoying some quality sight seeing, whilst taking the occasional few minutes to train, and to beat up the loyal followers of Frieza.

PICCOLO: Notice how fast Piccolo can move in the Raditz saga? Well wouldn't it be easy for him to get to Roshi's island almost immediately after Raditz. The reason that he wasn't there straight away, was because he stopped off at a burger vendor on the way, and scoffed his face, getting some good, cheap food. He then realized where he should be, and arrived at Goku's location, albeit, a little late.

Isn't it strange how the wilderness training with Gohan and Piccolo starred mainly Gohan, with odd clips off Piccolo, until they actually train together? Was this to familiarize Gohan with the viewers, and make him become popular? Nope, it was merely so that Piccolo could set up a small business. He sold Christmas clothes to Santa's elves, because, as everyone knows, their clothes, shoes, and general fashion sense, is modeled on Piccolo. This soon fell through though, as there was very little demand for elf clothing, and when there was, it was only one time in the whole year. He decided to get back to training, this time sparring with Gohan, and meditating, to try and make up for some of the time that he lost in his failed business venture.

King Kai's place, now that was one of the most obvious budget cuts in DBZ history! They couldn't afford to pay everyone, so they fired Tien, Yamcha, Chao-zu, and Piccolo, as they thought that these guys were the least popular. This angered the small group, so they went to King Kai's planet, and began protesting. Eventually, being a God and all, Kai put in a good word for them, and got them their jobs back. Luckily for everyone, they were all trained well whilst there, and didn't loose out at all, being paid for all the time that they were on the planet. Piccolo was the first to be hired back, as he had the most appeal, and could be used well in the Frieza fight, but everyone else was too weak to bare any significance for the time being, so they were left for about a year, when the producers felt some sympathy towards them, and wished everyone back.

Naturally, Piccolo wasn't required when Goku was fighting Frieza in his Super Saiyan form, so they decided to give Piccolo the task of assigning leaflets to everyone, explaining about the Namekian religion, and trying to convert people. Needless to say, the idea of having no God, and looking up to a big dragon guy as the brightest person out of the whole race, didn't go particularly well. Everyone laughed in Piccolo's face, assuming it was a joke, and upset him deeply.

GOHAN: Ever wonder why Gohan was trapped in that pod for so long against Raditz? Sure you have! Well, today's your lucky day, I'm going to tell you! Gohan always had the power that he had to burst out, he just didn't use it until the last possible moment, because he was really desperate for the toilet. You really think the trail behind him was just the KI left behind? Course it wasn't, it was his excretion! If he would have ventured out of the pod earlier, he would have been really embarrassed, because everyone would have seen him. He was supposed to come out beforehand, which is why Goku was beaten up so badly, he was waiting for his cue, from his son. When Gohan hit Raditz, it was only because he was in the way of the general direction to the nearest toilet. He knew that he could get out without anyone noticing, because Piccolo was too busy concentrating on his attack, Goku was being squashed, and Raditz was in awe of the kids power.

Remember when Krillen was running from Frieza, to distract him, and keep him away from Gohan? The kid wasn't all that hurt, but his tiny bladder couldn't hold out for the second important battle that he was in. Maybe he needs the toilet when he's nervous or something. Anyway, he let out his liquidated waste behind a near by tree, then quickly lay on the floor when Krillen came back, whilst Dende pretended to heal them. It was all an elaborately staged plot so that Gohan could use the 'bathroom' in the middle of the fight.

What about when he was taking Piccolo back? Notice how he left to get Bulma after he'd dumped his best friend in the safety of his dads ship? You really think it would take him that long just to find one person? On the way, he stopped to 'Drop some friends off at the pool', to 'Dump his load', or in less subtle terms, to 'Crap'. He used some leaves to clean himself up, and then went and saved Bulma. Obviously FUNimation didn't show this, but Japanese episode fans would know all about this, as it was highly documented. I believe the episode title was something like 'Gohan poops'.

When he was on Earth, he joined the cub scouts, and learnt many tactics of wilderness survival, spending almost all of his time there, spending the odd few minutes with the rest of the DBZ cast to shoot occasional scenes. He was soon kicked out though, when he decided that the best method of seeing in the dark, in the middle of a forest, is to drop some lit matches on the floor. The whole forest was destroyed, and Gohan casually bared it on 'Dinky, the mountain bear'. No one believed him until Dinky came forward and confessed to it. Gohan was offered a place back in the cub scouts, but he rejected it to spend more time training, and being a complete momma's boy.

KRILLEN: Whilst everyone was training at Kami's lookout, before the arrival of the Saiyans, Krillen decided to spend approximately 75% of his time trying to 'Pull'. He telepathically talked to a number of the Earth's women, the his description of himself, being 'Short, bald, and boring'. He didn't manage to get anyone to go out with him though, due to him being famous for bad luck with women. It turned out to be a waste of time though, and he lost a lot of time which could have been spent training, thus making him far weaker than he could have been.

What about when Frieza supposedly killed him by driving his horns into him? A simple excuse to wash his face. It didn't really hurt...that much. He was just really hot, and had a bad fever, so he needed to cool himself down. He was healed by Dende, and feeling much better, with his fever pretty much none-existent due to the refreshing break he took.

When Frieza really did kill him, just before Goku went SSJ, he went to the Namekian check in station, then onto heaven. Whilst there, he spent time basking in women, with paradise all around him. Ever since that happened, he has been trying to purposely die during battles.

BULMA: Ever wondered why she isn't one of the main characters who feature highly and regularly? With her intelligence and resourcefulness, surely she could have been given a bigger role. She was offered it too, all during the Saiyan saga and the Frieza saga, the directors desperately begged her to become one of the lead characters, with the possibility of her becoming bigger than Goku or Vegeta. She refused though. I bet you're wondering why. Well I'm here to enlighten the masses, so read carefully, and discover the truth that has been shielded from your eyes for so long.

A genius in her own right, Bulma decided that DBZ wasn't fulfilling her full potential, so she decided on working part time with Goku and crew. Instead, when she wasn't starring in her minute, 'filler' roles, she was consistently working intently on science projects of sort. This is the reason that she seemed to keep on disappearing during the Frieza saga, only coming on occasionally to show that she wasn't dead. Also, during the Saiyan saga, she was working on set, creating the scouter from scratch, but pretending that it was Raditz's. 

She also made many of the gadgets used, such as Goku's spaceship (Supposedly made by Dr Briefs, an elaborate cover-up for Bulma's overwhelming intelligence), the aforementioned scouter, and the motorbike that she uses when on Namek. After realizing she wouldn't make it too far by creating tiny bits of software in between roles, she decided on creating vehicular transport. Add that to the maternity leave she had when giving birth to Trunks, and you got excuses for every episode Bulma missed.

MASTER ROSHI: The powerful pervert was only a mediocre side-show during Dragonball Z, after flourishing and showing his true colours in the first series, Dragonball. The reasons for his lack of appearances in the Saiyan saga, and the rest of them, was because he had become a model photographer. He had decided that it was the only job that suited him properly, and would fully realize his potential, so he decided to lay off Dragonball Z for a while, and let everyone else do the fighting, whilst he got closer to some pretty girls. This was the one job that he had always wanted, and quite often he was so caught up in it that he didn't turn up for his rare appearances on Dragonball Z. Completely forgetting about them, he was temporarily suspended without pay. Managing to claw his way back into the business, Roshi gleefully accepted the lower wage, and joined the cast once more.

After asking for a bigger role, the old teacher was immediately rejected, and told to get a day job, as he had phased himself out of the plot too much to return to a decent role. This is why he missed so much of the series. Eventually, he became an insurance salesman, in case anyone was wondering, and annoyed the crew by begging them to buy off him. This took up a great deal of his time, and cut his Dragonball Z air time right down too.

SHENRON: The dragon that can supposedly only come out and stretch his legs once a year. This isn't true. A more suitable statement would be: The dragon who has chronic constipation. The reason that he can only come out once a year is because he spends all of his time trying to use the 'excretion clinic'. He can come out for about 5 minutes, but then he must go back to sitting on the toilet. 

I'm sure everyone has noticed that when Shenron grants a wish, his eyes light up red, and he seems to be struggling with it. This is due to having to hold it in, and not embarrass himself. Heck, a dragon that size could pollute the whole world with an outburst such as the ones Shenron suffers. Anyway, because of this, he appears only in very occasional episodes, but is a main character, with the whole spotlight focusing on him. The reason that people say it takes a year to charge up the Dragonballs is because Shenron knows it takes a year to finish his business, where he gets 10 minutes before he must start the annual proceedings again. It's a hard life for Shenron, but now you know why he comes on so rarely. The same applies to Porunga, another constipated giant.