You Know You've Been Watching
Too Much DBZ When...
Here is a list of things that will
prove that you've been watching too much DBZ if they happen. These are
stupid suggestions, and not to be tried at home unless you're a
complete idiot with a death wish. That's all, now read and enjoy!
- You grow your hair, die it blonde,
and increase your muscle mass, then start claiming that you are
the legendary super saiyan.
- You run at your head teacher
shouting 'Die Frieza!', and get suspending for beating him to a
pulp.
- You wolf down your dinner as fast as
you can, spitting it everywhere, then calling the canteen lady
King Kai/Bulma/Chi-Chi, and asking for more.
- You tie a yo-yo to your wrist, then
pretend to blast someone with it, instead hitting them on the head
and rendering them unconscious.
- You come to school with a sword, and
attack any bullies that you see with it, and you call your best
friend Goten.
- You sit on the toilet when you have
constipation, pretending to power up like Goku would, letting out
cries as you do so.
- You make a scouter out of a bit of
cardboard, and pretend to take everyone's power levels with it,
sweating as you (pretend to) take one which is even higher than
yours.
- You start throwing your moms best
china plates at people, yelling 'Destructo disc!' at the top of
your voice.
- You jump off the top of your house,
and yell 'Nimbus' as you fall head first, expecting a floating
cloud to come pick you up.
- You have a terrible hatred towards
robots, as you get out your trusty sword, and chop them in half
whenever you see them, vowing to gain vengeance on them for what
they did to everybody.
- You pretend that your 'lights out'
game is a dragon radar, and you walk around the world, getting to
where you consider the lights to be, and searching for dragonballs
around there.
- You stand inside a circle of raging
fire, then start yelling, claiming that the fire is an aura of
pure energy from your strength....until you run out, rolling
around the floor as you try to put the fire, that has spread upon
you, out.
- You start talking in Japanese, and
begin to swear, calling everyone bastards, then chopping them in
half with blood flying everywhere. You then turn back to
American/English, and start to politely shake hands, and secretly
cut everyone in half, without anyone seeing.
- You try to escape from a tight
situation by putting your hands to your eyes, shouting 'Solar
flare', then flashing an incredibly bright torch in their face.
- You pick up a CD, wrap it in a
towel, then throw it at someone, bringing it back if they dodge
it, for another attack, yelling 'Die super saiyan! You can never
beat the great Frieza!"
- You're scared that all women will
shout at you whenever you do anything remotely wrong.
- You get your friend to play a trick
on someone by making it seem as though you are floating, then you
dive bomb the people watching, trying to catch them off guard to
attack.
- You and a friend do the fusion dance
in front of a bully, telling him that you will both fuse into one
and becoming far stronger than even him, expecting the bully to be
intimidated.
- You host a Tenkachi Budoki in your
back garden, and grow a mini-afro on your head, then bribe all of
your mates to lose against you purposely, claiming to be the world
champion, and the strongest man in the world when you win.
- You cut your arm off, and try and
show your friends that you are from the planet Namek, and try to
regenerate it, with try being the keyword.
- Every time you see an explosion you
think that it is because of an evil, super powered villain, so you
quickly run over to the scene to check it out (Of course, it never
is an evil, super powered villain, but a mere gas leak)
- You train in places with increased
gravity....or at least you write the number '50', put it on your
bedroom door, and start doing press ups, hoping to get stronger
for the fight against Frieza.
- Whenever you can't blast your
friends with a KameHameHa, you secretly pull a lighter out of your
pocket, tuck it up your sleeve, then flick it so sparks fly off,
seemingly out of your hand, as you claim that you are all out of
energy.
- Whenever you walk into the kitchen,
you attack your freezer, just in case it is the evil tyrant in
disguise.
- You shave your head, draw 6 spots on
your forehead, cut off your nose, call your best friend Goku, use
the word 'bro' a lot, and make your friends call you 'Krillen the
great'.
- (This ones for the chicks) You are
really bitchy towards your son (Or in the event of you not having
a son, your little friend) and make him do his homework 24:7, then
yell at him for saving the world when he fights off evil monsters.
- You laugh at your friends, and tell
them that you know the secret to instantanious movement. When they
throw a brick at your head, you try to disappear (Needless to say
that you would fail, and have a severe bump on your head for a
while)
- You make a big, fat, ugly pink
plastecine man, call him Dodoria, and pretend to be Vegeta as you
pull his fake arms backwards and taunt him (Even though he can't
speak back, and you quite often rip his arms right off, must be
the strength of a saiyan eh?)
- You talk in a sissy English accent
to all your friends, and put your hair in a poofy braid, then use
facepaints to paint your skin a light green, you die your hair
green, then you get mad, and 'transform' into a monster (You tense
all your muscles up, but pretend that you are a whole different
being now)
- You carry a light bulb in your
hand at all times, and insist that it is your intense KI, making
your friends believe you.....until you drop the light bulb and
break it due to the massive heat that is burning your hands.
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