If I was forced to choose one, very adequate, word to describe snake way it would be this: Long.  I’d been running non-stop for seven months now, and it seemed like there was no end to the gray, scaly road.  I’d long since grown sick of the yellow clouds, the red and pink sky, and the same monotonous patterns in the road. 

I’d made a sort of game, seeing which pattern (a pattern typically stretched over a mile) repeated itself the most through the course of the path.  There was the twist (just a curve that bent this way then that over and over), there was the loop (a literal loop, which I had to fly through), there was the valley (a series of hills and dips that often bent 100 metres in either direction), and there was the straight (what do you think that was?).

Before I’d left for King Kai’s, King Yemma had taught me how to fly, and given me supplies to take on my long journey.  He even gave me two pieces of his special fruit, which was supposed to keep me full for three months, I’d tested it, and sure enough, six months after eating both pieces, I started to get hungry.  I’d finished all the other food he’d packed with me soon after, and I hadn’t had a meal in nearly two days.

Still I ran for all I was worth, I don’t know what fuelled me, but whatever it was wouldn’t let my legs stop moving.  I’d stopped discerning between day and night long ago, as I was far too deprived of sleep to care. 

There was one thing I did recognize as I was running though, the end.  It came to me like I was in a dream, white and fuzzy out-line and all.  I came up to it, still running full speed, and then about five metres before the very end, I slammed on the brakes and came to a screeching halt (literally).

I stood there, not knowing what to make of the dead end.  I stared at the plank like tail end of the path, stared out along the horizon, stared down into hell, and still found nothing.  For several minutes, my numb mind didn’t quite figure out there was nothing there, then it hit me.

I screamed in rage, I didn’t have time for this, it’d taken me over half a year to reach the damn place, I’d gone through puberty on this damn path, and I didn’t want to freaking come back empty-handed.  I had to remind myself; that was if I was coming back.  Until I proved myself to Kami, he wouldn’t let them wish me back with the dragon balls.

I wasn’t worried though; if I trained hard enough I’m sure they’d wish me back.  And despite what Cris thought, I did train.  If he only knew how many hours I’d spent in the loneliness of my apartment, trying to block out the hurt.  The taunting, the loneliness, the suffering, everything that was associated with being me, I’d devoted entire days to trying to cut it off.  I hadn’t been training like Cris, but I hadn’t been training, it was during those long hours of meditation that I developed the Tasaranko and Renzoku, moves which were more powerful than most of Cris’ repertoire.  No doubt Cris was slaving away, dumping his guts out every day, just to prepare for the Caprians.

As much as I hated training, for the time I was stuck on that damned tail, I wanted to take my frustration out on something, anything.  Luckily before I exploded and ripped the damned trail apart, I spotted the planet.  It was small, green, with what seemed like a road running across one of the axis.  I figured that must be where King Kai was.

It looked like it was a good 200 metres away, and at a diagonal angle to the edge of the tail, reaching it wouldn’t be a problem though.  I crouched, tried to give my energy to my already tired legs, and then shot up from the gray tail.

Reaching the planet was no problem, landing softly on it was.  I came crashing down onto the surface at a suicidal speed.  Whatever yanked me to the ground was far too powerful for me to over-power.  I crashed into the ground face-first, almost for sure breaking my nose and rattling my insides as well.  Even as I lied on the ground, I still couldn’t get up.

Then I realized there was nothing holding me down except the planet’s own gravity.  Try as I might, I couldn’t get up from the grass, the gravity was just too intense.  I did manage to move my hands so that they were at my sides, ready for me to try and push myself up.  I realized it would take all my strength for it to work, so I took a deep relaxing breath, tried to ignore the immense weight crushing me, and then with one gigantic heave, pushed.

It took me five seconds and a hell of a lot of energy, but I managed to finally get to a position where I could place my arms under me and let my weight rest on them, so I was in a position like the apex of a push-up.  Next I brought my leg from behind me and set it down under my sternum, allowing the bulk of my torso to balance on it.  Finally I used that leg to push up to where I could stand.

I didn’t so much achieve a stand as I did a strange squat.  The weight on my body was enormous, but I managed to assume a sort of hunched over, legs spread position.  Every muscle in my body was forced into action just to stand.  I began to see the logic in this, if this was King Kai’s training center, he’d make you super strong if you adapted to this gravity.

I looked up and began searching for the legendary master of martial arts.  I didn’t have to search very long; I managed to spot a small black form off to my left.  My first instinct was of course to move towards him, but the gravity had something to say about that.  I tried and tried, but the most I could get before tiring out was shifting my body to the form’s direction.  No sooner did I do that then the form moved off to my right.  I was about to turn again, but I then realized my stupidity.

I took a deep breath and then yelled “Hey!!”

The figure stopped in his tracks, objective met.  He looked around, and I saw that it wasn’t black after all; he just had a black robe on over an enormous body.  I saw only part of his face, but what I did see bore a strong resemblance to that of a fish.  It was blue, with two large black antennae sticking out from the top of his head, along with blue whisker like tentacles emitting from his face.  I wasn’t quite sure if that was King Kai, the legendary martial arts master, or one of his students, or possibly some sort of dummy.

No matter he’d heard me, and I intended to keep his attention.  “Hey,” I screamed at the top of my lungs “over here!”

He heard me more clearly this time, and I managed to drudge forward two steps, before needing to suck in more air.  He slowly and calmly began walking towards me, the gravity seemed to have no effect on him; he was moving effortlessly.

In a few seconds he’d crossed the small horizon and was right in front of me.  “Are you King Kai?”  I asked through gasping breaths.

He just nodded in affirmation, and I wasted no time.  “I’m here to receive martial arts training from you sir.”  I wouldn’t usually show so much respect to an old guy like him, but if what King Yemma told me was true, he was amazingly powerful.

He looked me up and down, walked around my struggling body, examining me thoroughly.  I felt like I was under a microscope, and with those sunglasses, I could see Kai looking like a scientist.

After he’d made a complete circle, he stared me straight in the face, and asked “Are you sure you’re ready Triono?”

I wasn’t surprised he knew my name, King Yemma told me King Kai knew almost everything, which I found a little hard to believe.  “Yes, I have to be.”

He raised his eyebrow, and studied me again with newfound interest.  “The situation is that dire?”

From what I’d pulled from Krillin’s mind, it was.  “Yes, I have to get a lot stronger, in just two and a half years.  And since I’m dead, I heard you’re the best trainer in this dimension.”

A big grin spread across his face, and he nodded slightly.  “Well, I could train you…”  He placed all the emphasis on could, meaning he didn’t have to.  I gave him the fiercest look I could under the circumstances, and he just continued on “but before I do…” God could he make this any more prolonged?  “You have to pass one simple test.”

I stared at him wide-eyed, fearing he was going to make me fight him or something, I could hardly move under this gravity; I was in no shape to fight him.  Luckily he passed grace on me this time.  “Try and make me laugh.”  He said with a grin the size of Kansas on his face.

Seemed simple enough, it’d be easier than beating Cris… right?  I racked my brain, but at that present time my joke section was clocking zero.  I had nothing, nada.  I panicked, I’d never had time for jokes on Earth, in fact I never had anyone to tell me any.

King Kai looked at me through those sunglasses and I realized I was sweating heavily.  I then made a conscious effort to calm my breath, clear my mind, and let the joke come to me.  After what seemed like an eternity one popped in my head.

“Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?”  It was corny, but I was coming up empty.  He didn’t respond so I continued, “He didn’t have the guts!”  I could’ve sworn there was drum-roll to a symbol smash somewhere in the background.   At first there was nothing, but then a slight rocking of the shoulders, then King Kai turned around so I couldn’t see his face.  I thought I heard him giggling though, so I kept at it.

“Why is six afraid of seven?”  He turned and gave me another huge grin, I was almost there “’cause seven eight nine.”

He brought his hands up to his mouth to prevent me from finishing him off, but I could smell the sweet taste of victory, it was just on my fingertips.  Now for the finishing blow.  “Two men walked into a bar, and the third” I paused for dramatic reasons “he ducked!”  I threw as much emphasis as I could onto the last part.

Sure enough, King Kai just couldn’t hold it in any more; he exploded in laughter, better than a Molotov cocktail.  He fell literally tipped over; I didn’t think it was that funny, but just because of the absurdity of the situation, I smiled slightly.

I let him laugh for a few minutes before he finally collected himself.  He was gasping for air and still giggling slightly when he finally talked to me again.  “Ok, I guess I can train you.”

I nodded, and then asked, “So what do I do first?”

He smiled broadly, and then replied by yelling out “Bubbles!!”  I looked around, not knowing if he meant a person or a bubble.  It was neither; instead a small, brown, furry monkey trotted up to King Kai, staring intently with hollow, one-dotted eyes.

I stared back, fixated on the monkey for some un-known reason.  King Kai broke my concentration however, stating, “Your first job is to catch bubbles.”

I wasn’t sure I heard him right, so I asked.  “Catch him?”

King Kai nodded, and then it hit me.  Under this gravity, if I could run as fast as a monkey, then when I left the gravity, I’d be a hell of a lot faster.  I nodded in reply and then began my first attempt.  I was barely able to step towards Bubbles before he squirted away, hiding behind King Kai.

Something struck Kai as funny, and he started laughing hysterically.  I didn’t get it, so I remained focused on Bubbles. I managed to step around King Kai and make a grab at the ape, but he shot away again, this time walking to a tree off in the distance.  I set after him, barely managing a step a second.  I got to the tree, but then he shot off to the other side.  “Bubbles you damn fur-lump, get back here!”  Of course he didn’t obey, and I was forced to chase him again.

For some reason Cris popped into my head at that specific time.  I thought that he’d probably have no trouble catching bubbles, strong as he was physically.  I highly doubted I’d have time to meditate much training under King Kai, but I told myself to make a distinct effort to at least try.

With that mental note made, I trudged towards Bubbles yet again.