'I Am The Legendary Super Saiyan!'

In a small studio, with about 15 rows of seats stands a proud man. This man is a famous man, a helpful man, this man sorts out other peoples problems. This man is Jerry Springer, and this is the Jerry Springer Show!
The crowd in the studio are chanting the talk show hosts name, as he walks through the curtain out back, and into his problem solving zone - the studio. The crowd cheer upon his arrival, and he calms then down by lowering his hand. There is silence. Springer has a microphone is his hand, and is ready to speak. 
"Today's topic is 'I should have been the legendary super-saiyan."
The crowd cheer, and chant Jerry's name some more. He calms them down once more, and then starts to speak again.
"Lets bring out our first guest, the prince of the saiyans, Vegeta!"
Some music plays, and Vegeta walks into he main studio from out back, then bows before sitting down.
"Now Vegeta, you think that you deserved to be the legendary super-saiyan. Can you tell me why?" asked the talk show's god - Jerry Springer.
"It's not fair Damnit! That f*** Kakarot got to be the legendary super-saiyan, when it should have f***ing been me! I am the one with the f***ing royal blood line! It's just not fair Damnit! I could kill that idiot Kakarot!" shouted Vegeta at Jerry.
"Well, you have shown your annoyance, now lets bring out Goku, the legendary super-saiyan!" said Springer happily. 
From out back walks Goku, with his golden blonde hair and eyebrows which can only be kept like that in his super-saiyan form. He does a small show for the audience before scoffing at the sulking Vegeta.
"It looks like he's jealous just because he can't get any of the good stuff at home!" remarked Goku. 
The comment enraged Vegeta, as he stood up and started shouting in the face of his rival.
"F*** you Kakarot! I get more of the f***ing good stuff than you'll ever get in your whole f***ing life time! I will f***ing kill you Kakarot!" Vegeta opens up the palm of his hand, ready to blast Goku. A beam comes out, heading straight for the super-saiyans face. There is a small explosion, and then Goku is seen behind Vegeta. The audience laugh at Goku's display. 
"Oh Vegeta." Goku said quietly in his rivals ear, chuckling as he does. 
Vegeta turns round, and with a shock look in his eye falls back. "What....how did you avoid my blast you f***ing a$$!?"
Goku laughs some more. "Vegeta, it look like the fact that you are small in all the places that count are preventing you from focusing on your aim." The audience laugh with Goku, and Vegeta charges in again. This time he is caught by the security guards, and forced back down into his seat. Goku goes and sits in his own seat as well. 
"It looks like you two have got some personal problems between each other. Tell me Goku, why should you have been chosen to be the legendary super-saiyan?" interrogated Jerry.
"Well, I beat Vegeta in our battle back on Earth, and that pussy died during our fight with the bitch f***er Freeza. I kicked his a** without any f***ing problem, where as our pin d**ked friend here died as soon as he fought the strongest form." replied Goku.
"Yo Jerry, I have a question for the short guy" said an audience member.
"Vegeta?" asked Springer.
"Yeah, that's the one. Yo Vegeta, it sounds to me like you are blaming Goku for your inner obsessiveness with the psychological battle against the proud biological warfare that you have created being yourself" the audience member stated.
"Yes, I think I see where you're coming from.......no, I don't. New dimension for you!" said Vegeta as he held out the palm of his hand, and frazzled the audience member with a ki blast whilst laughing manically. 
"That shut the bitch up" said Goku. "But she is right Vegeta. You do try too hard to be better than me."
"Is that what she was saying?" asked Vegeta and Springer at exactly the same time. 
"How should I know? I've got one of the lowest IQ's in the world! I was only guessing" said Goku looking extremely puzzled.
The audience nodded their agreement, as Jerry walked along a row of them speaking almost under his breath. "May I just say something please? I think that you could become a far better fighter if you could distinguish which was your right hand, and which one was your left Goku" said Jerry as he scratched his nose and swept past the row of the audience.
"Shut the f*** up before I blast you into a new f***ing dimension!" yelled Goku. The audience begins to chant Jerry's name, and wave their arms in the air. Jerry calms them down though.
"Whoa, calm down Goku. Lets face facts though, you aren't even the strongest fighter in the universe!" stated Jerry.
"What!? Who's stronger than me?!" replied Goku.
"Me" said Vegeta plainly. 
"No you're not" said an audience member. 
"Yes he is" replied another one.
"You lie! Goku is the worlds strongest fighter!" shouted another audience member.
"Face the truth, Vegeta may not be big all over, but he is a great fighter, even better than Goku, despite the fact that he isn't even a super-saiyan yet!"
"Hey! I got a huge thing in my underpants! Don't make me get it out!" threatened Vegeta.
"You would!" laughed Goku.
"Oh yeah, you trying to say something Kakarot?" asked Vegeta.
"Only that you're gay Vegeta!" replied Goku. 
"I'm gonna kill you Kakarot!"
"Not if I kill you first!"
The two saiyans go at it, but before they can even throw a punch, the security guards step in, and force them down, back onto their seats.
"It seems that no one realizes that as soon as a super strong bad guy is killed, another one comes along." said Jerry.
"What?" shouted Goku and Vegeta at the same time.
"Bring in Cell"
The audience claps as Cell walks into the studio. He takes a seat slightly away from the two saiyans.
"Damnit! He's right! I can sense the power on him!" said Goku disappointedly.
"Yeah, I can sense it too, but we'll still beat him somehow, we always do." replied Vegeta.
"I agree, even if you have got a pin d***, you can still fight ok." said Goku.
"Would you drop that goddamned subject you dumb f***! I'm bigger in that area than you could ever hope to be!" shouted Vegeta, truly enraged.
"Er....excuse me, please could I have the pleasure of getting a few words in?" asked Cell politely.
"NO!" yelled Vegeta and Goku sternly, as they both shot a ki blast as Cells face, killing him.
"Now where were we? Oh yeah, pin d***!" yelled Goku.
"Thick a**" countered Vegeta.
"Alright, calm down guys. I've got a secret to reveal to you. Vegeta, you weren't the one destined to be the legendary super-saiyan, and neither were you Goku. Bring in Brolli!" said Jerry excitedly. 
A huge, muscular man with the same sort of blonde hair and eyebrows as Goku has. He sits down next to where the corpse of Cell is.
"Brolli, please can tell them a bit about yourself" asked Jerry.
"Well, I've been super-saiyan since I was born. I am the legendary super-saiyan. Er........I will probably get killed by these two in a few years (points to Goku and Vegeta)" answered Brolli.
"Why wait a few f***ing years smart ass?" demanded Vegeta as he charged in at Brolli.
"Yeah" agreed Goku as he followed Vegeta in. The three super saiyans begin battling, wiping out all security guards who try to stop them. The fighting goes on, with occasional energy beams shooting out, and decapitating the audience. Jerry is crouched down behind some seats. "Get these f***s outta here! They're f***ing crazy! Oh, the camera's on me.....er...time for my final thought. Not everyone can be a super-saiyan, but I'm sure Vegeta will become one some day. You see, saiyans are all total asswipes. The f***s don't know what they're doing, and are too f***ing violent! Who cares who the legendary super-saiyan is? What matters is that I get out if here alive. Thank you, and good night." said Jerry, in a caring voice. He goes over to some of the corpses and shakes their hands, ducking out of the way of the beams as he does so. 
The camera cuts, and the fight ensues, but Jerry runs out of the building shouting "Help get me away from these f***ing maniacs!"