Before They Were Famous
Ever wondered what the
characters of DBZ did before they were famous? Well here's you answer. Well...at
least it's kind of an answer, in the sense that it is completely made up by me.
I repeat, none of this is true, so enjoy reading about the Dragonball Z's
characters' made up pasts.
GOKU: This young Saiyan got
a job at DBZ very early, but, as mentioned in the Plot Holes section, he didn’t
start off as the star of Dragonball. He used to be the young, slightly plump
star of Pampers Nappies commercials. He made a fair bit of money in doing this,
but became to old to still be able to act the roll with the full panache needed.
He applied for the job at the DB audition offices, and was granted it. They used
computer wizardry to create the baby Goku scenes, by using takes from the nappy
commercials, and drafting in different backgrounds.
GOHAN: Notice how there was
a huge gap in between Dragonball and Dragonball Z? Isn’t it funny how in that
short time, Goku had a son, and he grew up without anyone knowing. Now of
course, Gohan was new to Dragonball Z, he wasn’t in it since he was a baby that
would be preposterous! He was drafted in when they had a good idea for a new
character, so they made up a storyline to make him fit in. Anyway, before he
worked in DBZ, he was a shoe polisher. He worked with his real father in
cleaning everyone’s shoes. He used to add the spit shine after his father
quickly scrubbed. He was discovered when he beat the stuffing out of a
non-paying customer, forcing them to give him all the money. Noticing his
fighting talent, he was granted a contract, leaving his father, and hitting the
big time in the show business.
PICCOLO: this guy didn’t
come into the whole thing until about half way through the Dragonball series,
when Goku killed his Dad. Piccolo was used because his supposed father had quit
previously, and they needed someone to star, and to maintain his role. Piccolo
was given the memories of his father, and hatred of Goku that most bad guys
possess. Before he was the hardcore bad guy though, he was a lowly circus freak,
picked on because of his unruly green skin colour. People used to point at him
and laugh, make run and throw stuff at him. This angered him, but he was too
upset to retaliate, because of his sensitive side. The casters of DBZ saw
Piccolo, and realized how much he looked like the current DBZ villain, so
snapped him up, but not before taunting him for a while.
VEGETA: This guy wasn’t in
DBZ until he had reached his adulthood. The reason is because he was advertising
sausages for a German company. He used to sit on the end of a pier, and sing
humiliating song lyrics, whilst eating a small sausage on a stick, with a bright
red face. Every day after filming he used to attack the camera crew for mocking
him, and because he was one of the very few people in the world who knew how to
use KI, he could easily defeat them. This was captured on film during one
assault, and the DBZ directors immediately went to visit Vegeta to negotiate a
contract. He made out that he was a big shot on the advertising front, and
deserved a high salary. They told him they’d give him a high basic salary, plus
he could beat up the other cast members, and steal money from them. He
immediately accepted the offer, and had a background thought up for him, played
by a young actor. He then started his journey to Earth, and you know the
rest.
KRILLEN: Remember the
reference made to him deciding that the profession of a shoe salesman would have
been more elaborate for him? Well that was a mock-up, to make fun of the bald
midget. The directors were laughing insanely when they made Krillen say this,
humiliating himself in front of the rest of the cast. The reason for this is
because the midget was a former shoes salesman himself. He used to make all
varieties of them, including clogs, pure leather ones, and some funky trainers.
Unfortunately, he had decided to start it up on Roshi’s island, so no one ever
came in, meaning he was forced to close it down. This saddened him, until Roshi
put in a good word on the Dragonball front, as he knew the producers personally.
This meant that Krillen got a job. The biggest reason that his shoe industry
closed down was because he was only a kid, and knew nothing of business traits.
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