Fascinating Fiction

All of the things written in this section are made up by me, and are totally false, do NOT assume that they are true, because, well, they aren't. This section was made by me, and no one is allowed to steal it. Now that the ground rules are set, enjoy, and live prosperously. All new ones are in white.

1. Tien was the result of a pregnant woman bathing in radioactive waste for the 9 months of her pregnancy, thus the third eye.
2. Yamcha got his scar from a feisty customer at his pimping agency.
3. Bulma is permanently on her period (Hey, it would explain a lot wouldn't it?)
4. Chi-Chi is so protective of Gohan because she lost her last son when they were swimming in a river. She was really annoyed because she wasn't insured for him.
5. Gohan has sudden surges of power because he is so desperate for the toilet, so he must finish the battle quickly.
6. Chao-zu goes to the annual pokemon try-outs, hoping to become one of the little pocket monsters one of these days.
7. Trunks' hair is really yellow with green spots, but the refraction of the light bouncing off the......you wouldn't understand even if I told you.
8. Chao-zu is a clown in his spare time entertaining kids who mock his unusual looks.
9. When Goku becomes super saiyan, he automatically becomes attracted to the male species of saiyan. This is a side-affect which all saiyans must suffer.
10. Frieza managed to fool the judges of the 'Miss World' contest into thinking that he was a woman, and he managed to win it, beating some of the hottest models around.
11. KameHameHa stands for 'Kami Always Mentions Exotic, Horny, Altogether Mental, Entities Handling Asses'.
12. Goku used to be a woman.
13. Gohan learnt how to use the KameHameHa from Turtle, who is secretly the strongest person in the universe, and is responsible for the deaths of Frieza, Cell, and Majin Buu, although other people took credit for it.
14. Master Roshi is forced to read the magazines that he does by Puar, who shoves a gun to his face, and threatens him with death if he doesn't stare at the pictures 24:7.
15. Bulma is a quiet, polite charity worker in her free time, helping to clean out hostels, not caring about the dirt, and her hair getting messed up.
16. All the DBZ characters have made a porno movie together.
17. Vegeta is 8 foot tall, but he manages to create the illusion that he is only short, to fool all of the big muscular guys into thinking that he is weak.
18. In his spare time, Frieza is a domestic appliance in peoples kitchens, helping them to keep their food frozen.
19. Dodoria has been on a diet all his life.
20. When Zarbon transforms, he shows his feminine side a lot more.
21. Vegeta created the universe with his 'Big Bang' attack.
22. Goku used to be a professor of physics at Cambridge University.
23. Gohan is a fascist.
24. Piccolo is really a human who has eaten one too many cabbages.
25. Bardock got his scar from a nasty accident when he sneezed whilst shaving.
26. The Death Ball doesn't really kill people, it teleports them into a land filled with teddy bears, and dancing, frolicking, naked fairies.
27. Goku gets a cheap thrill every time he uses his teleportation technique.
28. Gohan wears women's underwear.
29. Whenever Piccolo regenerate his arm, his eyes become closer together.
30. In movie 12, where Goku and Vegeta fuse for the first time and turn fat, that was their ultimate form, but when they fused for the second time and look cool, that was their weakest form.
31. Goku is an alien from the planet Zog, hell-bent on the seduction of as many women as possible.
32. The strongest person in the universe is actually a small cricket named Marshall, who has a powerlevel of 80 billion, and almost killed Goku when he was a child.
33. Frieza got his womanly looks inherited from his father. His mother had a beard, a hairy rear end, and used to cake on makeup everyday.
34. Chi-Chi pays for Gohan's education by working on the streets, selling her body.
35. Gohan fights the desperado cowboys whenever a new kid is in town, with his gun slinging style, and his care-free attitude.
36. Goku is a racist.
37. The 'Z Soldiers' are the real bad guys, and the ones that they claim to be evil are really just trying to seal mankind's fate in its righteous position as a prosperous, happy and powerful race.
38. Krillen is short because of the fact that he is a pixie, with only the destruction of humans on his mind.
39. FUNimation are responsible for all of the gore that is subjected to kids, making them kill people, and send them to 'HFIL'
40. Baby Janemba was modeled on Dawn French.
41. The name FAGimation was thought up by cunning corporate giants in an effort to demean their rivals work, thinking that it would be easy to name call than to do any sabotaging. 
42. The reason that Goku is never wearing his top is because he is indeed a homosexual, and wants to show off his body to other men.
43. King Kai won the 'Million Dollar Man' contest because of his incredible muscle mass, and his irresistible charm to women.
44. The tournament of 'Mortal Kombat' is held every three years, where a break is taken from fighting the regular bad guys, and Shao Kahn comes and tries to destroy the Earth. He has failed on many occasions though, to Goku's most powerful attack - The atomic wedgy.
45. Buu is a ghost, thus the name, who goes round scaring small children by jumping out, tweaking their noses, sticking out his tongue, and softly saying "Boo"
46. The DBZ gang have made a song. It is called 'Let's kill dem bad guys!'. The song reached number 3 in the charts on its first week, but then rapidly started to descend after that.
47. Master Roshi is the youngest man on the Earth, his white beard and bald head are mere illusions created by the Southern Gods of the Western hemisphere.
48. Bubbles is not a monkey, but the guardian of the universe, watching over it, protecting it from evil intruders, but it takes on the form of a monkey to fool its opponents.
49. A KameHameHa is actually a bee, flying really really fast, so fast that it burns into the atmosphere, creating the flaming effect, and then it stings at the end, creating the pain.
50. Vegeta has three heads, one is his super saiyan head, one his evil head, and one is caring head, and he switches them at random, that's why he has all the mood swings.
51. Krillen hasn't yet started puberty.
52. Karin spends his night in a Jacuzzi with incredibly hot girls, claiming that it cleanses peoples spirits to flirt with a cat inside a small, bubbling tub.
53. Yajirobe eats his opponents after defeating them.
54. Vegeta was so mad at Frieza because the evil tyrant once said that his tail looked like a 'thingy'.
55. Nappa is a WCW wrestler called 'Goldberg' in his spare time.
56. NSYNC entertain all who go to 'HFIL' (So remember kids,  be good unless you want to suffer this terrible fate).
57. There is a magic bean capsule, which creates a beanstalk where a golden goose lays golden eggs at the top, but you must first get past a leprechaun who distracts you with naked pictures of Goku and Vegeta, making you shut your eyes in disgust, and fall to your death.
58. Gohan is scared of heights.
59. Piccolo has the role of the jolly green giant, to pay for his lodgings, as DBZ doesn't earn him very much.
60. King Kai is hilariously, side-splittingly, uncannily funny.
61. Steroids are the source of Vegeta's power.
62. King Cold is a geeky, spotty, star trek nerd, who hides it all with extensive make-up.
63. When Piccolo dived in the way of Nappa's beam to save Gohan, he thought that he had seen a pound (or dime) on the floor, so ran to pick it up, getting intercepted (and killed) by the beam on his way.
64. The reason that Vegeta had the moustache in DBGT is because he had become a Nazi for a short amount of time, before everyone sat down with him, and convinced him that they are not only bad, but don't even exist anymore.
65. Roshi's sister (The old witch-type character who sees into the crystal ball) is Lara Croft from Tomb Raider when she isn't appearing in DBZ episodes.
66. When Goku supposedly turned Super Saiyan, he was ill, therefore meaning someone else had to step in and perform it for him. The obvious choices were Beavis and Butthead, alternating the spotlight as they pretended to be Goku (Butthead) and Super Saiyan Goku (Beavis) during the appearance.
67. When people charge up, it makes their rear end itch, meaning they must attempt to gain as much power as possible before the itch becomes too much. When they do itch their behind, their charge up rapidly fades away.
68. Marron is a Cambridge graduate, with an awesomely high intellect, meaning she could have any job she wanted.
69. Krillen is black. In an effort to divide the race of people equally, Akira Toriyama decided that he should make at least one person black (NOTE: This is not a racist comment, nor should it be taken as one)
70. Dodoria auditioned for the marshmallow man, but unfortunately his skin colour was the wrong tone of pink. They would have accepted really pale pink, or indeed, white.
71. The Saibamen are all insane freaks, who have been released from mental asylums throughout the country. Vegeta and Nappa freed them, therefore they were given absolute power over them.
72. Superman exists in the DBZ world. He saves the day whenever minor criminals like bank robbers attack. He was later replaced the by great Saiya-man.
73. Krillen goes down after one shot purely because he needs to use a 'number 2', if you excuse the crudeness of my phrase, and knows that lying down will relax it, and hopefully make it go away. This is another reason that he is so reluctant to fight. 
74. Cyber Frieza was made from kitchen utensils, and appliances, such as knives, forks, fridges, and cookers. This made him infintely stronger, and gave him new attacks including the 'grill burn', and the 'fork jab'. 
75. Yajirobe used to be a handsome, thin young man, until he fused with a bar of lard in an effort to become stronger. It failed, and he just became fat, but he was still polite, and courteous. Worried of failure a second time, he decided to fuse with an insult maker. Obviously this failed miserably too, making him the overweight, abusive, annoying Yajirobe that we all know and love.
76. Trunks once poured sulphuric acid on his father for a joke. It was all well and good until Vegeta began dissolving,
77. Goku has died a total of 357 times, at the hands on Chi-Chi when she loses her temper.
78. Chi-Chi has the power to destroy the entire universe, but instead uses it to make Gohan study.
79. Piccolo wears pink nail varnish, and walks around with a limp hand.
80. Dinosaurs are extinct in the DBZ universe, just as they are in this one, but the exception is that in DBZ, the dinosaurs were replaced with giant futuristic robots who are exact replica's of the ones that were wiped out.
81. Brolli made the dinosaurs extinct when he lost control and blew them all up.
82. Goku once bit Paragus in the head, mistaking him for a vegetable.
83. Vegeta only wants to fight Goku to feel his soft, smooth, silky skin once more.
84. The fastest warrior in the universe is Turtle. Not only has he won countless battles, but he is as close to invincible as anyone could ever get. He is capable of moving faster than light.
85. Zarbon roars loudly when he has an ache on his rear end. When he does this, everyone must hide under the table, stand on one leg, close an eye, and hop up and down three times.
86. Fight scenes are actually exactly the same in places, and aren't just reused frames. For example, if Goku does a certain attack pattern, with Vegeta blocking in a certain way, and then it happens again, this is complete coincidence!
87. To prove their speed, occasionally DBZ characters change clothes in the midst of battle, and then put the old ones back on. This only usually lasts for about a second though, and is hard to spot.
88. Gohan's hair was the result of excessive masturbation landing on his hair. For this reason, it was 'gelled' down for so long.
89. Goku trains to the music of 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor.
90. Vegeta is a sex-crazed alcoholic.
91. Fusion results in creating someone with the ultimate fashion sense. It is just pure fluke that they are sometimes a little stronger too.
92. Frieza isn't killed by Trunks, but merely cut in half. He managed to survive the attack, and worked at a hair salon, with his hand limp, and constantly saying "ooh, by nice!" and "you look soo pretty!"
93. Kula was born in a fridge, thus his name. Frieza was born in a freezer. It doesn't take a mathematician to work out where King Cold was born (An icebox in case anyone didn't know)
94. Cell is obsessed with the fact that he thinks his perfect form makes him bum look big, so he tried to lose it by allowing Gohan to hit him in the stomach and make him regurgitate #18. This worked, but Cell later became perfect again, and once more, his bum was made to look big.
95. When running off to battle, Trunks doesn't wear a certain item of clothing - His underwear. He goes commando, and sees it as a good luck charm to have no 'support' under his waste.
96. King Kai is a stand up comedian with countless awards for his hilarity.
97. Gregory, Bubbles, and Turtle were all members of the famous series 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'. They portrayed the lead characters, which is where they found out how to fight. After the show, Gregory and Bubbles used their money to go to a plastic surgeon, and have a species change. Turtle just stayed the same, but burnt the bandana to get rid of the memories, as he was the first to be fired.
98. DBZ Movie 4 and 11 have been hailed as the best, cleverest, incredibly brilliant plots for films ever. They won awards, and even went on to be shown in the Whitehouse to entertain the guests.
99. Mr Satan fought Goku and won once, with the super mega ultra awesome powerful cool ace dudey big bastard punch. He is still undefeated to this day.
100. Cell didn't blow up, he blew off. This was a mistake the historians made when recording the events of the battle. He supposedly self-destructed, but really he farted, and stunk out Goku, King Kai, Bubbles, and Gregory (Goku saw the fart coming, and teleported Cell to Kai's planet). It was one smelly moment.