Goku goes to kindergarden
Setting: It’s the first day of school. Gohan’s in high school, Trunks
is in the 3rd grade and Goten’s in the 2nd grade.
ChiChi: Gohan, Goten! Time for breakfast! You wouldn’t want to be late
for your first day of school.
(There are two blurs that ran into the room and sat down at the kitchen table.
Another one came along following more slowly with his head stuck in a ‘Teens
Book of Nuclear Science’ text. Gohan put the book down and looked expectantly
at his mother.)
ChiChi: Goku, why are you here?
Goku: I’m going too!
ChiChi: What? You’re going where??
Goku: To school. I want to learn.
(Gohan & Goten both looked at him and burst out laughing)
Goten: Good one dad.
Gohan: You had us for a minute.
Goku: (whining) But I really want to goooooo!
(after breakfast)
Gohan & Goten: Bye mom! Bye dad!
Goku: I told you I was coming too and I am.
~~~*~~~
(At Satan City Elementary, principals office.)
Goku: I need to enroll someone in school.
Principal: Sure! What is you child’s name?
Goku: It’s Son Goten… wait! I was talking about me!
Principal: You? Well, what’s the last grade you passed?
Goku: I don’t know. I’ve never been.
Principal: You’re going to have to start with the basics…
(5 minutes later…)
Principal: Goku, welcome to Mr. Lovejoy’s class.
(he opens the door to a sunny room with lots of children)
Mr. Lovejoy: Welcome, son! I hope you have fun today!
Goku: Oooh! A toy truck!
(he runs over to a little boy)
Goku: (in a baby kind of voice) Can I play?
Little boy: Sure!
Mr. Lovejoy: Good, he’s settling in. Mr. Johnson (the principal), he’s
going to do just fine.
(the principal nods and walks away back to his office)
~~~*~~~
(3 hours later)
Goku: ChiChi, I’m home!
ChiChi: Goku, where have you been?!
Goku: I told you this morning that I was going to school. I learned a lot.
1 + 1 = 2, blue + yellow = green, the planet orbits the sun, e over mc squared…
ChiChi: (amazed) What was that last thing? Say that again.
Goku: 1 + 1 = 2, blue + yellow = green, the planet orbits the sun. That’s
all. I’m gonna be real smart!
~~~*~~~
(flash forward to the end of the year)
Mr. Lovejoy: Now kids, don’t be scared. We’re going to put on a great
performance at our graduation!
(Principal announces them. All of the kids (and Goku) walk out on stage in
green leotards and sunflower hats)
ChiChi: (in audience) That’s my Goku up there!
Lady: Which one? Mine is the one with the curls.
ChiChi: Mine's the one with the ki.
Goten & Gohan: You go dad!
(music begins and crowd quiets)
kids & Goku: (singing and making supposedly cute movements, cute for the
kids anyway) You are my sunshine! My only sunshine! You make me happy, when
skies are gray!
(there is a loud disturbance when Bulma & crew comes in)
Vegeta: I can’t believe I am coming… (sees Goku) OMIGOD! Kakarott??
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
(Piccolo comes in w/ Tien, Yamcha, Krillin, & Choutzu)
Krillin: Vegeta, why are you… Is that Goku up there? Yamcha, get the camera!
(Yamcha takes out a Polaroid instant camera)
Yamcha: Anything that can make Vegeta laugh is priceless. (becomes thoughtful)
I wonder how much I can get for pictures of the world's protector in his kindergarten
graduation? I’m gonna be rich!
(Bulma, Vegeta and everybody takes seats (much to everybody else’s relief))
Goku: Excuse me! I wanna finish my performance! (clears throat loudly)
Goku: (getting down on one knee and singing rather badly) Please don’t
take my sunshine away! (holds arms up and out w/ a big goofy grin on his face)
(everyone claps and ChiChi and friends (except Vegeta of course) stand up and
cheer)
Krillin: Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Encore!
(Goku’s smile gets wider and he opens his mouth…)
Everybody in the auditorium (including the kids) except Krillin and Goku: NO!
Goku: (looking hurt at first, but soon cheers up) I have to go get changed.
I’ll be right back.
~~~*~~~
(20 minutes later after some stupid filler performances by other grades)
(Goku came out in a three piece black suit and a black and maroon tie, complete
with a black gown. All of the children (in Sunday best) line up at the foot
of the stage)
Principal: Here are the kids (as an afterthought) and Goku.
(he started to call off people)
Jenny! Annie! Tai! Mia! (and so on. Finally he came to the S’)
Principal: Son Goku!
(All of his friends and family that took up two rows, stood up and cheered
loudly. Goku & the children toss their caps into the air)
Vegeta: Finally you’ve sort of filled your empty head!
Everybody even Goku: VEGETA, SHUT UP!!
Vegeta: What? You know it’s true! (he and Bulma get into another of their
arguments and walk away)
~~~*~~~
(At the Son house later that night…)
Goku: I had so much fun and learned so much! I can’t wait to start first
grade!
ChiChi: (skeptically) Uh, yeah. Great! I think…
THE END or is it?
