Underfaker + Rage = Editorial!

Well, hello gang. Been along time since I talked to y’all, I know, I
know...I’m sorry. Anyway, it’s editorial time and what has your old buddy
Jonathan got to say this time? Plenty! What am I going to say? Hatred,
rage and anger would be somewhere along the correct lines of the tone of
this one, but hey- You should know that by now. So, off we go!

Okay, first on the agenda is the online DBZ community crap. Nobody really
specific right now, but more like a group of people. What has got me so
mad? The most STUPID, IDIOTIC and NON-SENSICAL usage of words EVER.
I swear to God Almighty, if I hear “What the HFIL?!” again, I am going to
become violent. I once read somewhere that somebody said they weren’t going
to use this term anymore because “The humor has run out, due to
over-usage.”. No, see, IT WAS NEVER FUNNY TO BEGIN WITH. It may have
registered a half-chuckle that lasted about a nanosecond in my brain, but
then it was gone. I swear, some people don’t even have the sense that God
gave them. Speaking of God, I’m also getting sick and tired of seeing “For
Kami’s sake!”. For those of you “not in the know”, in the Japanese version
of DBZ, Kami was also called “God”, which makes no sense at all. I mean, if
Kami really was “God”, then there are some things he could have stopped.
Oh, and before you get started, yes I do know that it’s all part of some
really screwed up hierarchy thing, but I don’t really care about that. In
fact, if you DID know that, then the intelligence of comparing “For Kami’s
sake” and “For God’s sake” is lost. Then we have the ever “classic” which
involves saying something stupid about FUNimation, while somehow keeping the
words “FUN” or “imation”. “CRAPimation, F*CKimation,
FUNtokilldragonball”....there’s tons of them. You know, if I ever met the
people that came up with these and I had a ball-peen hammer, you might as
well call the meat wagon. Of course, I know people only say these things to
piss me off. Oh, and what is this that I hear about? Some webmasters are
now saying that the “fun of DBZ is lost”, and then turn right around and
find some way to blame it on FUNimation. Granted, there may be some truth
in that. Who am I to say I know who so-and-so is thinking? However, I am
willing to wager that 90% of this is due to the fact that DBZ went
mainstream. I’ll be the first to admit it, when something goes mainstream
it can lose a lot of popularity. See, DBZ was something of a “cult
classic”. Something that only you and a few friends new about and enjoyed
alone. But when it became popular, it wasn’t just “yours” anymore and
therefore it doesn’t look as good as it used to. Take something
like...Speed Racer. A show released in the 60’s that many adults still have
fond memories of watching. It was fun to watch because it was a cartoon
(the term anime didn‘t exist in the 60‘s. Maybe Japanimation did...) that
was geared for children. Fast-forward to the 90’s. Now, MTV is showing
Speed Racer. It wasn’t shown for entertainment value, it was shown for its
ridiculousness. Something for college students to laugh about and call
“camp”. Now, very few adults have fond memories of Speed Racer because we
always look at the past through rose-colored glasses. It breaks my heart to
say it, it really does. And then you’ve got your other things...burn-out,
mainstream popularity and it all comes crashing down. Sorry to say it, but
it is true.

Switching gears a bit, lets talk about anime on Cartoon Network. Aparently,
there is going to be a new one called “The Big O”. Now how did this pass
the censors, huh? For those of you who don’t know, “The Big O” is a phrase
used in many adult cinemas (I’m talking about porno).

Quick notes- Planet Namek. We know you don’t like the dub music. WE GET IT
ALREADY. No need to keep telling us over and over. Oh, and your money
problem? How about doing a magical thing we all learned- Get a JOB! Nobody
is going to send you all the money you need/want! If I needed money, I sure
as hell wouldn’t write an editorial about it! If your site is costing you
$3,000, then for God’s sake, DROP IT! Get rid of it! I sure as Hell
wouldn’t keep something around that was costing me that much and I couldn’t
afford it. Then again, you’re probably a yankee and there ain’t too much I
can do about it.

Another thing I’ve been hearing a LOT of lately is how “FUNimation has
killed Dragonball and is a capitalist pigbeast of DEATH!” I’m not going to
deny that. In fact, I’ve been saying that since Day One. However, don’t go
thinking that the Japanese version of DB wasn’t created without the idea of
making money. Dragonball was made with the SOLE intention of making money!
In fact, show me where Dragonball was made with art in mind and I can show
you where it was made with money in mind. Why do you think that DB toys are
made? Why do you think DBGT was cancelled? What, do you think that someone
walked up to Akira Toryiama and said, “Hey! You draw pretty pictures!
Would you like it if I put them in my manga’s?!” Its all about MONEY.
Japan, America, England even Russia, money is the end-all be-all of things.
Sure, FUNimation is capitalistic. But so is Toei/Bird Studios and anyone
else you’d like to throw in there. You want further proof? Hell, just go
to eBay! Look up DB merchandise and you’ll find dozens of auctions with
taglines of “RARE! DB Japanese import lunchbox/poster/stationary/cards!”
In essence, F*CK DB’s supposed art. It doesn’t exist. While we are at it,
F*CK ANY ANIME’S supposed art. Every anime, no matter what, is created for
money. Art, symbolism and stuff like that is a nice little bonus to go with
it. You don’t like it? TOUGH. It’s the truth. But I know, someone,
somewhere will disagree with me because they refuse to throw away the
blissful ignorance that they live in. They will continue to chant their
mantra of “Sub good, dub bad”, while rocking back and forth holding some
fansubs. You want to really change things up? Really do something that
“influences your life” or changes it? Then stop all this nonsense and do
like I did- Think for yourself. Become a revolutionary.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

The Super Texa-Jin,
Jonathan “Underfaker” Lindsey