>>>>>>>>>>Reality Check<<<<<<<<<<

Why Vegeta Has A Problem......

By A Dawg

I’ve been doing a little thinking. There has been far too many editorials about little incidents in this slum and about the Dubs and Subs; myself included. What is this site about? DBZ. It isn’t SonySucks.com or Leavedubbiesalone.com, its MajinGohan.com. Why not make an Editorial about, hey, here is an idea, DBZ! What a concept!!! Jesus Marimba I’m smart!! I came up with it all by myself! Show your love!! So with this BRAND SPANKING NEW idea comes the first little addition of this little series. Who better to start it off then with Vegeta. This is brand new to me, if you like it, cool if you don’t like it, cool. This is just a way for me to get away from this little slum we have, and all the time I am spending on covering it. So why not start out with someone I can relate with, jackass wise. Vegeta. This man is so angry, and with good reason damnit! I mean he always, and I mean ALWAYS gets his ass beat, Freeza, Gokou, Rekium, Android 18, Cell, Cell Jr, Cell again and Buu. Getting beatin and killed by a white gay lizard with a big ass tail and purple lipstick is enough to drive anyone towards the insanity! Jesus Marimba! He needs to deal with Bulma, while not a bitchy as Chi-Chi, at least Chi-Chi is attached to Gokou. Vegeta is just getting sloppy seconds with her, well maybe sloppy sixths. Having his pride stomped on by Gokou, Cell, and hell even Android 18. Do you remember that shit?? She beat the hell out of him. She wasn’t constantly talking like in the dub. She just had that "I am beating your short ass, and there is nothing you can do about it" type of confidence. And the spandex. Ohhh the spandex. You wonder why he is always uptight. Hotdamn, is that spandex cutting off circulation to his body? Or is that how he keeps that tiny little figure? What? What is it? Can someone tell me? Don’t give me that aerodynamic crap, because I ain’t buying it. I am going to give you my thesis on a these many questions and statements and more. I just hope those Vegeta fanatics don’t letter or IM bomb me. You crazy kids and your technology!

Ohh where do I start? The Hair, the beatdowns, the crying? I think I’ll start with the most obvious subject. His pride. This guy has a lot of pride for someone who gets his ass beat on the regular. Am I wrong, I think not. Lets look at some classic Vegeta beatdowns. Gokou: This was not as bad as some of the other ones, but the end of the one on one battle was just nasty. I mean damn, Gokou went to Kaioken and it was all over. He layeth the smacketh down on his candy ass. I mean lord, the shots to the gut were vicious. He couldn’t get a hit off. Got beat down for a little then he decided "Hell this lowclass sayi-jin is beating my ass, so hey why not just blow up the planet!!" (::coughPLOTHOLEcough,cough::) So with little time for Kakkaroto to prepare, he used the Kamehameha, charged up the Ki, were at a deadlock, went to Kaioken X4, and blew his ass and that fake pride to the moon. We all know what happened next, so I won’t repeat it. So Vegeta what was that crap about all that Sayi-jin Super Elite there? You know his father was crying his eyes off in hell. He got that crap from somewhere, it must run in the family. Man he just broke him down, which was the first step in the decimation of his pride. Next Zarbon: He beat him, plain and simple. Cut and dry, broke him down. Freeza: Good god, this is a sure fire contender for worst Vegeta ass whooping of all time. I mean damn. Where the hell is your pride you sayi-jin pussy?!? Oh wait maybe it is over there mixed in with blood, honor, teeth, dignity, and tears? Maybe you should check in that pile it has to be there some where. I mean damn, how can someone who has all this pride and honor, get stomped like that? The whole "I am a super sayi-jin" bit was pretty pathetic. The fact that he was crying before Freeza even started to get in him was even worse. I almost wanted Freeza to just leave him alone. Sure Vegeta was talking shit the whole time, but no one deserves the thrashing he got. No one does as far as I am concerned. The Back shots, the head butts the tail whips, the everything. The worst part is when was getting throttled and he looked up at Freeza and he was crying!!! The so called "Bad Ass" was crying like a bitch!! Can you really look me in the face and tell me Vegeta is the best character in DB? If you do I will kindly pull back, and clock you in your face. What Freeza did was wrong and horrible, and like I said Vegeta.... nobody deserved that type of beating. But if anyone had to get it, my vote would go to Vegeta. Freeza was simply Vegeta’s pimp. He used him since he was a child. Killed his father, his entire race, yet he still worked for him. Vegeta got uppity, and Freeza quickly came back with a colossal sized pimp slap end our sayi-jin prince’s life. He beat Gohan. He beat 19...... quite ruthlessly, all that pepped up aggression I guess. Now onto what was probably the second worst thuging he has received. Enter Artificial Human 18. This was just....... embarrassing. The first part of it wasn’t so bad, besides the fact that she was toying with him, and he didn’t know it. Then it got ugly. Vegeta started to get tired. I knew he was going to get done in by the looks of it. Uhh oh. ::BAM:: shot to the face, Vegeta staggers. Dodges a punch and a kick or two, then ::thwop:: forearm. Piccolo, Krillin, Tenshinhan and Trunks knew what was happening. ::WAP:: punch before Vegeta even tries to retaliate. It is officially ugly ladies and gentleman. This when she goes to town. Trunks sees that his father is getting his ass beat (again) and is about to jump in, but it is to late. He gets his arm broken in one of the worst scenes I have ever seen in DBZ. The way his glare slowly fades into a look of shock and horror is displayed perfectly. I mean I guess he has perfected the art of being beat down to the "T" Huh? Trunks to the rescue!! ::Shink:: uh oh ::SMACK::......... damn. Runs in the family huh Trunks? Vegeta wasn’t satisfied, he wanted to be hurt even more so he decided to try to make a little come back. But no, he just got hurt, even more. If Vegeta has anything, it is a high tolerance to pain, I will give him that much. OK, OK Semi-Perfect Cell caught a pretty bad beat down. There is that Sayi-jin pride homeboy!! Well that didn’t last long did it? No it didn’t. Low and behold; Perfect Cell!!!! This was not even a fight. Sure that Final Flash was bad ass, but Cell soon regenerated, and almost killed him. Trunks saved him. Trunks looses. Do you see a theme here? Everyone trains and relaxes for 10 days. Chillin and a little bit of illin. Now witness Cell Jr. He didn’t get his behind handed to him, like before, but he sure as hell didn’t win that little skirmish. Ultra Perfect Cell: First he kills his rival, then he kills his son, then he makes a bad joke about it?!? Ohh no Veggie-san isn’t gonna stand for this!! He goes nuts!! Just in a rage to satisfy his almost non-existent pride. Good for him!! Wait no, he gets put into a 10 minute coma, with one punch. I have no respect for Vegeta anymore. Wait what’s that?? I’m sorry Gohan? Did he just say that?? Vegetable head did not just say that.... maybe he did, could there be hope for him yet? YES!!!!! GOOD JOB!! Good shot!!! You broke Cell down, now let your rival’s son defeat the monster who single handily beat you and your son twice. Thata boy!!! 7 years pass. Majin Vegeta vs. Gokou. First of all Gokou could have wiped the floor with him, and just gone SSJ3 on him, but he didn’t. It was a tie before he got that cheap shot in. Whatever. Against Buu, he finally realized he couldn’t beat...... anyone, so he gave up and self-destructed, using his ultimate final skill attack (thank you Ultimate DBZ Info site....) I won’t go into GT, besides the fact that I know nothing about it besides he fused with bebi or some shit like that, and couldn’t go ssj4 with out some brute ray, and I don’t feel like it is truly apart of the DB timeline since Toriyama San didn’t mean the series to go on after the Buu saga (actually the Freeza saga, but that is an entirely different story..)

So what does this bootleg fight by fight summary tell you? That Vegeta really should have NO pride left, after the horrible beatings and embarrassment he cought. I figured that in GT he would’ve been picking daisies in the capsule corporation garden all day.

The Problems: Vegeta has a lot of problems. Let’s start with the obvious: The Spandex. Good god the spandex. How does he even get into them? Don’t they hurt in that...... private area? For someone so manly, he sure doesn’t seem to have a problem in wearing enough skin tight clothing to be the next big thing in the Euro-crap trend. Does he feel that maybe having his clothes so tight, he can trap his pride and dignity in so they will never leave? Sorry that boat has sailed long ago in that sea of blood and tears. I have a thesis. I know why Vegeta first went SSJ. When all those asteroids messed him up...... it cut the spandex. Did you see it? Well, I believe that, the spandex was slowing him down mentally and physically. Since he was able to breath perfectly again, and feel his crouch, it was a new and powerful sensation to him!! He then went SSJ, not out of anger like TOEI and Funi want you to believe, but because he could finally be able to move and breathe without the restraints of the spandex. That is what I believe. Next: The pink shirt. I knew that getting served by Freeza would have some long term mental effects on the guy but damn, not like this!! You know that if he had this "Pride" he always speaks of he would never have put on that ridiculus crap. "Badman" and boy do we believe it! Was he seriously going out to fight Freeza like that? He could’ve at least borrowed one of Yamchau’s Gi’s or something. Hell even Dr. Briefs labcoat would’ve been better then that! Freeza and his Father would’ve laughed their sweet asses off upon looking at our boy Vegeta. They would probably beat him up but not murder him because he was simply to pretty to kill. Even Trunks was looking that fruity shirt! I know I know, that whole "I’ve never seen my father before" thing but you know he was thinking "Wow, this is my dad!? Who knew he was so..... gay??". Next: Anger Management. Why is everything Kakkarot’s fault? Hmm? Somebody let me know how it was Kakkarot’s fault by Cell killing his son? How was it Kakkarot’s fault that he is so strong? How is it Kakkarot’s fault that he is so short? How is it Kakkarot’s fault that was able to get Chi Chi, while he gets the village bike? Vegeta, stop blaming everything on Kakkarot!! Now there are certain things he should be angry about. Taking apart of his pride is one of them. Not killing Freeza is another one. Which brings me to my next point. Why does Vegeta never kill, and I mean NEVER KILL, someone who he really wants to kill? Gokou, Freeza, Cell, Buu, and 18. OK not killing your rival is bad enough, but your rival killing someone you hate even more is worse. Let me take you through a little bit of DBZ, Vegeta side of the story. I am going to be immortal. YAY. I am so happy. Wait Kakkarot is stronger then me. Oh crap. He and his little midget friends beat me. I will kill Kakkarot!! Uhh I will kill these bums, then uhh oh here come the ginyu force. I am going to be immortal, I will kill Guldo, YAY I did!!! Now Rekium, no wait, he beat me down too!! I WILL KILL Rekium, yay I did!! Freeza thinks he is tough and he..... is. Oh crap. He just killed me YAY I got wished back. Oh wait Freeza is still alive! I get another chance to kill him! No wait, someone has come up, who is even stronger then him and me and kills him........ Kuso!!! He is a SSJ too, and I am not!! Aww I’ll just kill this fat white doll looking freak and then his wrinkled compatriot!! No wait, damn that little punk kid killed him!!! OK I will just kill this cute little blonde. Oh no, I am getting stomped. Whoops there is my arm!! I will kill her!!! No I won’t, I will kill Cell!! HA HA I am stronger then him. I will let him get perfect like a moron!! Yay.... no, uhh He just knocked me out. I will Kill Cell!!! No Kakkarot is obviously stronger then me, so I will let him do his thing. We are screwed, he just gave up. Gohan, he is gonna get killed, awe well. No he is not, so not only has Kakkaroto surpassed me, so has his son. Life isn’t fair. Oh no, he just killed me son, Cell that is, I will KILL CELL..... umm no I won’t, I will get put into a coma, and Gohan has to save me. That sucks. Gohan Kills cell, that isn’t fair.................. Get the point? Good. Next Bulma: ::WAHPISH:: this man is so whipped it isn’t funny, but why? The sex, if not then what? Why not capture yourself a beautiful female or something. No you gotta pick Bulma. Freeza spent so much time convicing him that he was stupid and weak, that he started believing it himself.... Oh sorry, wrong funny series. Anywho, why Bulma, you know why? He needs someone to take control. He wants to feel appreciated, and the only way he can do that is by doing Bulma sexual favors, and whatnot. No one gives a rats ass about Veggie-chan. They realized that he was useless and he has either pride or dignity left. He was the laughing stock of the Z solider... community (I guess). So instead like what was previously been reported, Bulma only uses Vegeta, because going SSJ in the bed has some benefits =). Vegeta has right to be angry and that is all there is too it. A Dawg7484@aol.com tell me what you thought about this. Adios untill next week. ::sighs:: Castor Troy is gonna have my head......................

Updates, Quote, Plugs, Q&A, T U’s and F U’s

Namco is making Tekken Tag Tournament and Ridge Racer for the GameCube. I am still crying in joy. Yay!!!!!!

Umm on that whole "Why people see the need to be smart" editorial, replace the "SMELL WHAT THE ROCK" to "SMELL WHAT THE JERK IS COOKIN!!!" Sorry ^_^.

If you want this big editorial, then bug Chris Psaros, and MrE. I won’t do it with out their input.

My dubbie name will be shatered when one of my best friends on the internet is sending me some Japanese DBZ tapes. I love her with all my might, and well, it’s been nice being a dubbie, but there is a time where we must all...... move on. My time is now. Adios amigos, it’s been real, but I am going to a better place now.......... stay strong.

Site Plug of the week: TIE Between Savage Z and SCCC: I am sorry, but it was too close to call. Savage Z probably would’ve taken it unless I hadn’t gone an ruined it by making a retarded what if entry. Savage Z is maybe the most unappreciated site around and well, it needs hits, and friendly comments. SCCC is on here because I just got finnished watching that Flash Movie of Mike Vs. the Gay Popoites!! That is maybe the funniest thing I have ever seen. Two quality sites. Two different webmasters. You choose.

Quote: "The people who believe they know it all, annoy those who really do"

I saw this at a clothing store (Kinda of a weird place to find a quote like that huh?) Well I thought it went perfect for this editorial since I know nothing and you guys know everything.

Q&A: None this week, Maybe next week, the e-mail is getting low folks, where is the love lol???

Thanks Yous:

Lena: For being the nicest person I have ever met on-line, and being as crazy and as funny (even more so, but that doesn’t take much effort) as me. Thank you =)

MG: For once again being a pimp, and letting me defile Gohan on your site HA .>=)

F--- U’s

I missed this last week but Snoel something or other, I can’t remember the entire name, on aol, who is a moron, and thought that the Raichi OVA was the "Lost Movie". I laugh at you, don’t explode from thinking to hard now.