The DBZ News Show
AKA: The result of Meri and Alyssa having far too much free cotton candy at a carnival.

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<Insert dramatic news theme music here>

Gohan:  "Hello, I'm your host, Son Gohan."

GT Trunks:  "And I'm your co-anchor, Trunks.   Welcome to the Satan City 6:23 and 17 Seconds News".

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Gohan <turns to face camera>:  "In our top news story, well-known fighter, Vegeta, was the subject of a suicide attempt today."

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Gohan <off camera>:  "After discovering that he had lost all of his spandex suits in a bet, Vegeta attempted to end his life by jumping off the ledge of Satan City Bank."

<cut to footage of the incident>  Vegeta:   "No more spandex for little Vegeta!  I can't go on!  My life has no purpose!  It's all over, over I say!"

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Gohan <off camera>:  "Suddenly, the city's hero and World Champion, Mr. Satan, arrived on the scene to say the day."

Mr. Satan:  "Ohohohohoho!  Fear not, I, Mr. Satan, will use my amazing strength to save that poor soul who is clinging on the top of that building and yelling something about spandex!"

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Gohan <off camera>:  "Just then, Vegeta lost all hope that he had left, and decided to take The Big Plunge."

Vegeta:  "Aiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!  Maybe this wasn't such a good ideeeeeeaaaaaa!!!!......."

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Mr. Satan:  "Don't worry, I'll catch you!   Just hang on sonny boy, Mr. Satan will make it all right again!"

Gohan <off camera>:  "All seemed well, as Mr. Satan was about to use his might to save Vegeta from splattering 5 ways from Sunday on the sidewalk."

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Gohan <off camera>:  "Unfortunately, Mr. Satan missed."

Mr. Satan:  ".....whoops."

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Gohan <off camera>:  "The latest word is that Vegeta is intensive care at a near by hospital."

Vegeta:  "Someone change my goddamn bed pan."

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Trunks:  "In our other top story of the day, it would seem that the identity of the elusive Great Saiyaman has been revealed!"

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<cut to footage>  Trunks <off camera>:   "Who is this masked savior of the city?"

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Trunks <off camera>:  "Our sources tell us that the Great Saiyaman is none other than......"

Who is REALLY the Great Saiyaman!?  Place your bets, then go here!

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