Page 10
(From Helen)
-Freeza-
"Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"
-Vegeta ( looking at the mirror) - "Man, look at my receding hair line!"
(looks at Krillin)
-Krillin- "Just wait a couple more years"
-Goku (with dreadlocks hair-do) - "No, Woman no Cry!..."
Vegeta - "Ya Man!"
-Vegeta - " A little bit of Bulma by my side..." ( a la Mambo no.5)
-Goku (kicking a cloud) -"Work, you damned thing!"
-Cpt. Ginyu ( as a frog) - "Maybe a pretty girl will come by, give me a kiss and turn
me into a handsome prince... hey, who's that girl with blue hair?"
( at Bald Men Anonymous)
-Piccolo (takes off his hat thingy) - "Hi, I'm Piccolo, and I'm bald."
-everybody - "Hi Piccolo!"
-Krillin - "Hi, I'm Krillin, and I'm bald"
-everybody - "Hi Krillin!"
(Piccolo and Krillin hug)
-Zarbon - "Of course I have a reason for the way I dress. These leg warmers make me
ten times more powerful!"
-Freeza - "Can I have some too?"
-Tapion ( running after Trunks) - "Somebody get that purple-haired kid. He stole my
sword!"
-Trunks - "You gave it to me, you moron!"
-King Kai - "Who's fat?"
-Trunks (at the hair salon) - "All I asked for was some purple highlights, and look
what you did!"
-Krillin ( wearing a yellow wig ) - "I'm a super sayan-jin"
-Krillin (looking at a chia-head) - "Hey, maybe it'll work for me"
-Piccolo - "Nah, I already tried"
( excerpts from DBZ characters' gratitude journals)
-Piccolo - "The things I'm grateful for today: being green, having antennas, and not
having to wear spandex."
-Trunks - "The things I'm grateful for today: having purple hair, having a kick-ass
jacket, and being a huge chick-magnet!"
-Freeza - "The things I'm grateful for today: being able to breathe in space, not
being a monkey, and having a different form for every day of the week"
-Goku - "The things I'm grateful for today: being the most powerful sayan-jin in the
universe, and always being the center of the attention."
-Vegeta - "The things I'm grateful for today: being the most powerful being in the
universe... oh wait, I'm not. This isn't working!"
-Freeza - "I love monkeys!"
-Freeza - "I'm a nudist, and proud of it!"
-Krillin ( to shenlong) - here are my three wishes, listen carefully: hair, hair, and why
not, some more hair.
(a flash, and Krillin turns into cousin it - from the Addams Family)
-Trunks ( holding light saber) - " Wow, this thing is way cooler than my sword"
-Luke Skywalker - "Hey, give it back!"
-Piccolo - "By the power of Namek, I will punish you!"
-Krillin ( running around wearing a fur coat, with the full moon) - "Hey, look. I'm a
saiya-jin"
-Rest of DBZ - "Wanna-be"
-Chouzu - "I tried out for Cirque du Soleil, but I never made it. Then I met Tien .
He was a reject too, so together we joined DBZ. And that's the story of my life"
-Vegeta - "I've decided to give up fighting to build a memorial for planet Vegeta.
It's about time"
-all SSJ - "Our eyes don't actually turn green when we go SSJ, it's just that when we
do that, we go completely blind, so we have to wear contacts. And green goes just so well
with our yellow dyed hair"
-Piccolo - " I love St. Patrick's day, I finally fit in!"
-Zarbon ( catching his breath) - "Sorry guys, my aerobics class was running
late"
-Tien ( looking at the mirror) - "Oh my God! What's that thing on my forehead?
Aaaaah!!! It's looking at me!"
(the millionaire show)
-host - "For the last time, Mr. Vegeta, is that your final answer?"
-Vegeta - "Wait, wait, I think I got it."
-Piccolo (from the audience) - "For God's sake, the answer is C, you dumb@$$!"
-Vegeta - "Shut up! I knew that!"
-Trunks - "Man, this sword is so heavy! Why do I always get these weird gifts? I
would have been just as happy if I got a yo-yo or something! Am I the only one who has
such dysfunctional friends?"
-Goten - "Hey!"
-Vegeta - "Is my left side more photogenic than my right side? What do you think,
Krillin?"
-Krillin - "What do I know? I look ugly even from behind!"
-Krillin - " I used to have a very big nose. Then I saw a picture of Michael Jackson,
and got inspired. But something went very very wrong."
-Vegeta - "I wish this suit had pockets. I have nowhere to put my lipstick!"
-Gohan - "I'm hungry, Piccolo."
(Piccolo rips off his arm and gives it to Gohan)
-Piccolo - "Here, heat it up for 30 minutes on medium."
-Gohan - "Ooooh! Yummm!"
(From Emily)
-Vegeta: "Theres a change in the weather,Change in the seeeeaaaaa! From now on
there's gonna be a, CCHHHAAANNGGEE in me!"
-Vegeta: "Unbreak my heeeaaarrt! Say you LOVE me agian! UNDO this hurt that you
caused when you walked out the door! And walked outta my life,,,,,,,"
(that song was from Vegeta-2-Bulma)
-Vegeta-2-Goku: "You no Goku, I've really admired your stength.....I wish i could be
more like you.."
-Gohan: "Mr, Vegeta KILLED PEOPLE?!"
-ChiChi: "Oh I dont mind if my son goes out fighting agian! I will just write a note
to his teacher saying HE'S DEFENDNG THE WORLD! My almost grown up son..... he doesnt need
me anymore!
-Frezia: "I dont really WANT to kill people.....<starts to cry..> I am
really a nice beast! I like baby chicks, and little puppy dogs........"
-Bulma: "I dont care about the way my hair looks..."
(From Majin Gotenks)
-Chaozu
to Tien: "Its over Tien! I'm going to my mothers house! If you don't get your act
together I'm going straight!"
-Piccolo to Tien- "I see you checking me out with that third eye, Tien."
-Goku: "Tien and Chaozu are lovers? I didn't know that!"
-Vegeta: "Maybe I'd get famous if I got on a Wheaties box."
-Vegeta: "Bulma! Help! I just had a bad dream!"
-Gohan: "Dad...will you promise to protect me from Chaozu? He's been stalking me,
peeking in at me through the window..."
-Bulma: "NO! I won't modify the scouter to spot a sale!!"
-Mutenroshi Kamesennin: "Ok, Ok. So I didn't invent the Kamehameha. I was this
Hawaiian King dude. But whats he gonna do, sue me?"
-Piccolo: "No Chaozu, I'm not going to show you the attack for two reasons. 1: It's
not called the Screw Attack, and 2: You could of at least called it the Corkscrew
attack."
-Kami-sama: "I'm a big boy, King Yemma, don't tell me what to do!"
-Krillin: "Ohhh Maaaan! Not only am I short, I think I'm shrinking."
-Nappa: "If you reduce the Ion flow to the 3rd booster coupling, and adjust the
proton injection rate..."
-Dende: "Maybe I can make a sidewalk stand to heal people...and I could charge them a
whole 25 cents!"
-Buu: (TV advertisment) "After eating those two helpings of Gotenks and Piccolo, I
think I need a Rolaids, which begins to neutralize Acid on contact!"
-Cell: "Gohan, I'm sorry about the loss of you father, so how 'bout I take you to
McDonald's and get you a Happy Meal? I hear the have new PokeMon toys!"
-Frieza: "Go away Dodoria, me and Zarbon are busy!"
-Zarbon: "AAHH! None of my tights are clean!"
-Raditz: "Wow, maybe before I die, I can put a picture of my self into the scouter
for Bulma... *wink wink*"
-Trunks: "To the Bat Cave, Goten!"
-Goten: "Gohan, Gohan, Gohan, you idiot, don't you know anything? The average person
even knows the square root of 8785858698 is...
(From mvpdad)
-Super Saiya-jin Vegeta: No, I'm not a Super Saiya-jin,I just dyed my hair yellow.
-Super Saiya-jin Gohan: Mom,can you comb my hair? It wont stay down.
-Bulma: You know, I just married Vegeta because Goku already had a wife.
(From Aries Skye/piccolo_dbzgt)
-Piccolo
*says to Gohan*: Grasshopper, sway like the Ginco Flower.
-Trunks: "Just because my hair's purple, doesn't mean I'm gay!"
-Goku: "Chichi, I think I need a flu shot."
-Chichi: "Gohan, I love you the way you are."
-Chichi: "Sure Yamcha! I would love to have you help Gohan with his studies."
-Gohan: "Daddy, why can't you stand up to mommy?"
-Piccolo: "I would love to be a shoe salesman."
-Trunks: "Whazzup with this sword?!"
-#18: "How and the hell could I have a kid?!"
-Bulma *says to Piccolo*: "I love you man!"
-Goku: "I passed driver's education!!"
-Vegeta: "Bulma, did you just marry me for my beautiful receeding hairline?"
-Bulma: "Vegeta, maybe you should try a lawnmower."
-Gohan *winks in direction of stranger*: "Nice legs!"
-Piccolo *makes gesture to ChiChi*: "Slippery when wet..."
(From
Chameleon)
-Vegeta: Bulma, there's no such thing as Sayians. Goku, Radditz and I are from the IRS.
<ala "Meet Joe Black">
-Bulma: So, I'm not even human. I'm an andriod.
-Vegeta: So that explaines your intelligence...
(From Trunks Girl (a.k.a. Krys))
*Gohan is drunk*
-Gohan:(singing) I'm an HRS kid! My daddy didn't beat me, but my momma sure did! I'm an
HRS kid! Yes I am! Do you wanna be an HRS kid?
-Mirai Trunks: *pointing his sword in font of the mirror*
My name is Trunks. You have killed my father. Prepare to die.
*Cast at a Boston Market restaurant*
-Bulma: Um.....why is our bill $579.00? What did you guys eat?
-Goku:*yelling* I had.........six whole rotisserie chicken, a family-sized macaroni and
cheese, a pound of mashed potatoes, and a cookie.
*Everyone in the restaurant looks at Goku*
-Goku: What?
-Vegeta: Goku, buddy ol' pal! You should have been the prince of all Saiya-jins!
-Goku: Aww, that's sweet of you Vegeta! Big hug!
-Goku & Vegeta: We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
-Vegeta: You know Kakarotto, I had real feelings for you........
(From Pants-san)
-Gohan - Well, Piccolo, you can just SHOVE
IT!
-Vegeta - I like holding hands and long strolls on the beach...
-Dr. Briefs cat - (absolutely anything)
-Freeza - (in Hanz and Franz-ish voice) look at my buff body, you girly men!
-Goku - (To radditz) Screw the kid, I just wanna KILL PEOPLE! WEEEEE!!!!
-Trunks - Hey, Dad! Let's go play catch!
-Goku - instead of training, maybe I should just play pong..
(From ErthGirl99)
*This takes place at a Starlights Club Meeting. They are guys that transform into girls.
aka Sailor Moon*
-Minako: Hello, I would like to show you all two new members to our club: Piccolo and
Dende.
*both walk in. Piccolo is crying*
-Piccolo: You like me! You really like me!
-Dende: You ain't no Scarlett O'Hara!
-Bulma: And you ask how we passed time on that ship to Namek. Krillin, Gohan, and I sang a
little song to cheer up our hopes!
-Krillin: *blow harmonica for a second*
-Gohan: One...two...three.
-All: We all live on a yellow submarine! Yeah! Yellow Submarine...
-Freeza: I'm a sweet transvesite! *aka Rocky Horror Picture Show*
-*Bulma picks up a note from the table and cries*
-Bulma: Trunks is going to join the cast of Johnny Quest, and Bra is becoming a Spice
Girl. What else could go wrong?!?
-Vegeta: I am sorry to have to tell you this Bulma, but I have been living a double life
as a stripper and I am going to marry a hooker called Bambi.
-Bulma: *has a heart attack and dies*
-Vegeta: It was only a joke.
-Goku: Elementary, my dear Krillin. *dress up like Sherlock Holmes*
-Krillin: Is that what school you go to?
*Yamcha in a bar surrounded by other guys*
-Yamcha: *hiccup* I never get the girl. That's no *hiccup* fair.
-Seiya: Join the club.
-Yamcha: Hey, your kinda cute.
-Seiya: I can transform into a girl hotstuff.
((Seiya is Sailor Starfighter a guy who transforms into a girl and didn't get Usagi))
*A big sign says Satan Family Reunion*
-Videl: Here is my uncle Lucifer and his daughter Hela.
-Gohan: Can we please leave now?
-Videl: No, you haven't meet the rest of my family.
-Gohan: I wonder who the next one is....Cousin Hades!
*A peek at the Dragonball High School Yearbook*
-Goku: Most likely to join WWF.
-Krillin: Most likely to play Charlie Brown in a live-action movie.
-Chaotzu: Most likely to advertise life insurance.
-Yajirobie: Most likely to be denied from Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig.
-ChiChi: Most likely to be a spokesperson for Midol.
-Lunch: Most likely to star as Sybil.
-Vegeta: Most likely to never step foot inside a barber shop.
(From krillin2000)
-Gokou: The electromagnetic interference caused by the radiation of magnetic energy around
the wire can be reduced by flattening the cylindrical cabling. The inducted signal noise
will be decreased by 70%.
-Bulma: Yeah, I guess.
-Toucan Sam: Follow your nose
-Krillin: Oh shut up
-Gokou after being blasted by Piccolo's Makankasappou: I'll be back.
-Piccolo being stopped by police: It's because I'm green isn't it?
-Chi chi in Gohan's bedroom: Study my ass!*pulls out a drawer full of condoms, Playboys,
marijuana joints, and a bottle of Jack Daniels (almost empty)*
(From Trunks Briefs)
-Goten: *dials phone*
-Moe: Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking
-Goten: Hello, I'm looking for a Mrs. Hugginkiss, first name Amanda
-Moe: Hey, I'm lookin for Amanda Hugginkiss, I need Amanda Hugginkiss pronto!
-Trunks: *dials*
-Moe: Moe's Tavern
-Trunks: Uh, I'm looking for a Mr. Momma, first name Joe
-Moe: Joe Momma! I need Joe Mamma over here! C'mon, I need Joe Mamma!
-Barney Gumble: What did you say?! *beats up Moe*
-Goten: *dials*
-Moe: Moe's Tavern
-Goten: Hello, I'm looking for a Mr. Sexual, first name Homer
-Moe: Is there a Homa Sexual here? I need a Homa Sexual!
-Mrs. Briefs: *dials*
-Moe: Moe's Tavern
-Mrs. Briefs: Hello, I'm looking for a Briefs, first name Trunks
-Moe: Trunks Briefs, huh? Look you bitch, if you call here one more time, I will
personally hit your ass ugly fat face so hard, your grandchildren will be blind!
-Mrs. Briefs: But I already have gra-
-Moe: *hangs up*
-Jeice: *cheesy grin* Rogaine worked for me!
-Vegeta: Prepare to die, Freez--ooo....shiny... *pokes the purple shiny thing on Freeza's
head*
-Gokou: I like.... *flutters his eyelashes* rainbows!
-Dr. Briefs: For the last time, yes, my cat is real!
-Vegeta: *prances around Bulma, wearing a tanktop and -short- shorts* I feel pretty!
Bulma, hold me!
-Bulma: Vegeta, how many times do I have to tell you to stay out of my closet?!
-Zarbon, Bulma, Kaio-sama and Puar: Hooray for blue!
-Freeza, Captain Ginyu and Trunks: Purple is better!
-Yajirobe and Jeice: You kidding? Orange is the best!
-Piccole, Dende and Shenglong: No, it's green!
-Mr. Popo: Black!
*Gokou appears*
-All: Hey, Gokou, what do -you- think is the best color?
-Gokou: Umm... pink!
-All: PINK?!
*Bulma and Chi-Chi fuse together to form Bul-Chi*
-Krillin: Now -that's- scary!
-Vegeta: *wearing a Simba the lion mask and singing* Oh, I just can't wait to be king!
-Gokou: Um, Vegeta, you -are- king. Your dad's dead.
-Vegeta: *shrieks with joy*
-Bulma: *hugs Vegeta*
-Vegeta: AHH! COOTIES!
-Gohan: *screaming into a microphone* GOIN' OFF THE RAILS ON A CRA--ZY TRAIN!!
-Captain Ginyu: Whoa, check out those awesome poses the Sailor Scouts are doing!
-Zarbon: I wonder what I'd look like with a buzz cut.
-Krillin: #18, beer me!
-Captain Ginyu: *looking at his frog body* Maybe Budweiser could use an extra...
-Trunks: I'm going to kill y---*belches loudly* Excuse me!
(From Medusa Locks)
-Freeza- Man, I feel like a woman...
-Zarbon- Is that Shania Twain?
-Freeza- Shania who?
-Gohan- Wow! The Ultimate Fusion! Piccoolong!
-Piccolo- Do these Hammer pants make my butt look big?
-Gohan- Umm...
-Piccolo- THEY DO! Don't they!?! *sobs*
-Roshi- I have to make a confession... I'm gay.
-Piccolo- I have to change my style. This bald-and-green tough-guy thing isn't helpin' me
pick up the chicks.
-Piccolo- It's Barney! Looky, Gohan! Barney! He's my hero! I love you, you love
me..."
-Nappa- I used to have beautiful golden hair, but I got tired of the dumb blonde jokes, so
I shaved my head.
(From buttercup03)
- Vegeta (singing to Bulma & snapping his fingers)- - -
Baby let me be,
Your Saiyian teddy bear!
Put a chain around my neck,
And take me anywhere,
oh let me be, please let me be,
your teddy bear!
I just wanna be your teddy bear, oooooooh
(From
SSJ Chibi Trunx)
-Trunks-
"Hey Mom? Could you pick me up some more purple hair dye? My roots are starting to
show"
(From Don)
Long
story. (Between Trunks and James from Pokémon)
-Trunks and James: Huh?
-Trunks: Hey! What are you doing with my hair style?
-James: Don't you know? I'm part of Team Rocket and what we want, we get!
-Trunks: Let's settle this on a 3 on 3 Pokémon battle!
-James: You're on! I'll start with Jessy's Arbok. Arbok, go!
-Trunks: Pikachu, go!
(Both Pokémon pop out)
-Trunks: Pikachu, Agility.
-James: Drat. What were Arbok's moves again? Ahhhh!
-Trunks: Good! The Arbok's confused. Pikachu, Thundershock!
-Pikachu: Piiiikachuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
(Arbok got fried)
-James: Ahhhhhhh! Jessy will kill me for this! Arbok, return! Weezing, attack!
(Weezing pops out)
-James: Weezing, Sludge Attack.
-Trunks: Pikachu, dodge the Sludge and counter with a Quick Attack!
-James: Hmph! They both missed. Weezing, Smog Attack.
-Trunks: Pikachu. Launch a Thunderbolt!
-Pikachu: Pika! Piiiiiiiiiikachu!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Weezing got fried too)
-James: Great! Victreebell, you're my last hope. Go!
(Victreebell pops out and attacks James)
-Trunks with a tear drop: Bad training.
-Pikachu with a tear drop: Pika. (Ditto)
-Trunks: Uhhh...how do you want to finish this?
-Pikachu: Pi pika. Pikachu! (This will be fun. I'll use a Thunder Attack!)
-Trunks: Okay.
-Pikachu:
Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaachuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
-James and Victreebell: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
-Trunks: I learn so fast. Yeah! Let's go Pikachu!
-Pikachu: Pika! (Okay!)
(From
kablooie)
-Vegeta: Wha? What's this? Piccolo! I found a hair!
-Piccolo: Wow, really? Lemme see!
-Vegeta: Nope, sorry, just pullin your leg. You'll never have hair as beautiful as mine!
-Piccolo: Shucks.
(From Nick)
-Freeza: "There's no need for us to
fight. We can resolve our differences diplomatically."
-Captain Ginyu: "Hmm, this frog's body is actually pretty cool."
-Goku: (To Freeza) "Why did you kill Krillin? Come on, at least we had Gohan
insured!"
-Bulma: "I don't know how to fix this..."
-Freeza: "I really shouldn't refer to Saiya-jins as 'monkeys.' It's very demeaning to
them."
-Vegeta: "*grunts and strains* Must... summon... more... power... *muscles bulge* Ah!
Finally got that wedgie out, stupid Kakarot..."
-Goku: "Don't worry about it, I programmed the VCR."
-Chi-chi: "Goku, put up the calculus and physics books, you've been neglecting your
training."
(From Prince Vegeta)
-King
Kai: "CRICKET, CRICKET MAAAAAAN, I WANT-TO-BE, A CRICKET MAN!!" (From
"Macho Man")
-Frieza(cut into many pieces): "Tis a flesh wound!"
(From DBZgirlDBZ)
-Goku:
Man, playing strip poker with Freeza is a gyp! He's already butt-naked!
-Vegeta: OOOoooooooh, preeetttyy...
-Piccolo: Maybe if I used SPF 30, I wouldn't get so green?
-Bulma: Life sucks! I have a nasty husband who is short, ugly, has the world's most
annoying widow's peak, and is even more vain than I am! Where's Robert Redford when you
need him???
-Vegeta: Hey Gohan! Do you know how to hotwire this car?
-Goku: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Chichi, what did you do to Nimbus?!?!?!?! I told you, dry clean
only!!!!!!!
-Piccolo: Hey Nail? Hows about you finally getting your ass out of my body??
-Gohan: Kill MRS HANNA!!
-Vegeta: Kakarot, the green contacts and the peroxide job are sooooo chic! Where did you
get it done?
-Goku: OWWW!!! I just got my ass kicked by Sailor Mars!
-Chichi: (shopping at the fish mart) Yes, I'll take that big one right there... Wait...
AAAAHHHHHH! KING KAI'S HEAD?!?!?!?!?
-Piccolo: Kame, I'm so sorry! Here's a box of chocolates and flowers. Will you ever
forgive me???
-Krillin: AHH! AAHHH! What that on my head?!?!?!.... Oh wait, it's hair!
-Piccolo: (ala Darth Vader) Dende, I am your father...
-Goku:AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Chichi, where's ESPN?!?!?
-Gohan: Pikachu, I choose you!
-Oolong: Miss Piggy, oh sexy Miss Piggy...
-Chaotzu: How the hell do I get this face paint off?!
-Ginyu: Freeza, what's that sticking out of your ass?
-Trunks: Momm!! Can't I play with a real sword yet? This plastic one sucks!
(From Miranda)
-#18-Krillin,
stop picking your nose!
-Bulma- Mom, could you help me with this computer?
-Vegita- Nappa, that's brilliant!
-Piccolo-..I miss my teddy bear...(everyone stares)...Uh, did I say that out loud?....
-Dende- if you're not going to eat that, I will.
-Nappa-(sining)..I am the very model of a modern major general....(Pirates of Penzance)
-Vegita to Yamcha- I dig your girlfriend.
-Goku- Idiot! Idiot1 I am such a jerk! Why did i have to say that to her outloud? I don't
wanna sleep in the cave again! Man!...ChiChi, honey!...Lem'me in! I really didn't mean it!
ChiChi? Please?
-#18- I don't want to marry a loser.
-Vegita- Hey Trunks, is Bulma asleep yet?
-Trunks- Yeah, so's Bra.
-Vegita- Good, I don't want your mother to know I'm watching this. She might think I'm
sensitive or something...
(pops Titanic in the VCR)
-Trunks- You may be watchin' this for the death, I'm watchin' it for the Kate Winslet!
(From
LTMM777)
-Vegeta: We have to stop this fighting Kakarot and start using "I" messages!
-Goku: Fine! I feel bad when you are mean to me because it hurts my feelings.
-Vegeta: Well...gee Kakarot...I never realized I was hurting you so much...
-Goku: Oh Vegeta...
-Vegeta: Oh Kakarot...I feel so close to you now...HUGS!
-Chi Chi: Hey Goku, wanna make another baby...heh heh...
-Goku: Hell ya!
-Goku: KAMEHAME....wait a minute. I've just realized something. Fighting won't solve
anything, we must discuss our feelings rationally like the civialized adults we are.
-Vegeta: Your right Kakarot. We must unit together to form a happier planet for future
generations.
-ALL singing: "Come on people, now, smile on your brother! Everybody get together try
to love one another right now!"
-Vegeta: Not tonight Bulma, I'm too tired.
-Vegeta: You SON OF A B*TCH! You made me,like, brake a nail! YOU WILL NOW FEEL THE RATH OF
VEGETA! Like, ok?
-Goku: Chi Chi sure looks hot in that dress....the others can battle Cell a few more
minutes while I get my 'groove' on....
-Chi Chi: Happy Birthday Goku!
-Bulma: We're taking you to an all you can eat buffet, our treat!
-Goku: What do ya think I am, a pig?
-Gohan: Daddy we just though you...
-Goku: Shut up, you should be studying!
-Chi Chi: O C'mon Goku...
-Goku: Quiet You!
-Vegeta: (staring at TV) I love you, you love me, we're a happy family!...
-Bulma: Oh Vegeta and his Barney, never misses an episode! (chuckles)
-Goku: Chi Chi is that new dress?
-Chi Chi: Yes...why?
-Goku: Why, darling, you look divine in it! What brand is it Gucci? Anne Taylor? What? I
simply must know!
-Chi Chi: Uh...well...I got it at Kmart.
-Chi Chi: Gohan you really have to stop studying...ur gonna become a book worm like your
father!
-Goku: Chi Chi please keep it down...I'm in the middle of A Tale of Two Cities...
-Chi Chi: Uh, yeah whatever. Love to hear about it but I gotta go spar with Bulma...c ya!
-Goku, Piccolo, Vegeta: (DING DONG) Trick or Treat!
-Vegeta: "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends! Making love's
forever! Friendship never ends!"
-Goku: Yeah, ya know, I'd love to help but fighting is like so last season!
-Bulma: Cut the crap Vegeta and just do me!
-Goku: Chi Chi?
-Chi Chi: Yeah?
-Goku: Happy Anniversary...
-Chi Chi: OK WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY HUSBAND!
(From Super_Saiyajin_Vegeta)
-Krillin-
And welcome to the annual Royal Order of Candle Lovers lodge meeting. Do we have any new
members?
-Cell- Oh Grand Puba, we have two new members.
-Krillin-Bring them forward
**Vegeta and Trunks walk up to the stage**
-Krillin- Now does everybody know what to do to these two newcomers?
**all the members nod**
-Krillin-**glances at Trunks and Vegeta** Now as you know, the way to become a member here
is to have your hair shaved off and a candle burned on your head. **All the members pick
up shavers, some pick up Nair bottles, a few get some candles** And now, let the shaving
commence!!
-Trunks and Vegeta- NO!! NOT OUR HAIR!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! **both fly out of the room**
-Krillin- Cell, Goten, you know what to do. **Cell and Goten fly off to catch Vegeta and
Trunks**
LATER
-Vegeta- WAAAAAAAHHHH!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!!!
-Trunks- DAMN YOU KRILLIN!!!
-Krillin- Hey, if I had to get these 6 stupid candle burn scars on my forehead, then you
had to, too!!! And that'll be Grand Puba to you two lowly candles lovers!!
-Vegeta and Trunks- **Grumbling sounds**
-Fat Buu- I listened to the Pork-lovers hotline and in 30 minutes, I got fat!! **Holds up
a picture of Majin Buu** See the difference? Thanks Pork-lovers hotline!! I'll remember
you the first time my arteries
clog!!
-Freiza- **sitting in a big chair** Hello. I'm Freiza. You might know me as "That Gay
Freak who's on the American DBZ." I'd just like to take this opportunity to tell you
that I'm not gay and...
-All the Saiyajins still alive- **fly past** Hi Freiza!!
-Freiza**flies after them** HEY GUYS!! WE'RE STILL ON FOR THE HONEYMOON, RIGHT? GUYS?
-Vegeta- **singing** I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts
-Kakkarot-**singing too** Doodely dee dee
-Vegeta- There they are just standing in a row
-Kakkarot- Bum bum bum
-Vegeta and Kakkarot- Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!
-Piccolo- FOR THE HUNDRETH TIME, SHAT UP!! **Pelts Vegeta and Kakkarot with coconuts**
(ala- Lion King.... 'Cept for the Piccolo part :)
-Bulma- Hey Goku, can you help me with this?
-Kakkarot- Sure, what is it?
-Bulma- It's a Hyper-Megatron Iota Googleplex Navigator!!
-Kakkarot-**sighs** Oh for crying out loud!! Not that thing again!
(Note- I have no idea what iota is. I just put it in because it sounds all technical :)
-Vegeta- I AM the coolest
-Trunks- NO WAY!! **frantic** Don't listen to him Pan, I'm way better then he is. It's me
you want!!
-Vegeta- You wanna come over here and say that to my face, little man??!!
-Trunks-**goes right up to Vegeta and shoves him** Oh yeah??!! Watcha gonna do 'bout it,
hair-boy???!!!
-Vegeta-**Tears stream down his face** That hurt, Trunks.
-Trunks- **backs away in surprise and shock** I...I'm sorry, dad... I didn't know.......
-Vegeta- **sniffle..sniffle**
-Trunks-**starts to cry, too** I'M SORRY DAD!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
-Vegeta- **stands up** c'mon son. Gimme a hug!!
-Trunks-**flies into Vegetas arms**
-Pan- Ooookay. This is just too weird for words. **Flies away**
-Chi Chi- **stands up** I feel like kicking some ass today!!!!
-Kakkarot- Of course you do dear. Now sit down and eat this food I made for you.
-Chi Chi- **grumbles** Asshole
-Kakkarot- **grins** Hey, if you want, I can take you back to Acadamy for Disgruntled and
Otherwise Defeciant People.
-Chi Chi-No!!! Not that again!!! I'll be good!! I'll behave!!!
-Kakkarot- Good. Now get your F*cking ass back in the seat!!!
-Chi Chi-**sadly** Ok.
(From SilverMoonDragon)
("Whose
Line is it Anyway" goes DBZ)
-Vegita: Do you question your sexuality?
-Bulma: I think I'm pregnant with your child.
-Vegita: If it is my child.
-Bulma: Are you insinuating that I'm sleeping with Goku?
-Vegita: If he is my brother.
(From Inbeastic)
-Goku:
"I'm gonna hit you while you're powering up!"
(From
ErthGirl99)
-Vegeta: Hmm…Sale at the mall or saving the world from a giant monster. The mall!
-Marron: Charlie Brown!
-Goku: Huh?
-#18: After Marron saw a Snoopy cartoon, she calls Krillin Charlie Brown. He does kind of
look like him.
-Krillin: I do not!
-Jeadite: Hahaha, the universe is mine!
-Voice: Stop right there, negatrash!
-Bra: I'm Sailor Mercury,…
-Pan: Sailor Mars,
-Marron: and Sailor Moon, and on behalf of the moon we shall punish you!
-DBZ cast chasing Oolong: Kill the pig! Kill the pig! (From the book, Lord of the Flies.)
-Goku: Hey guys, I have great news!
-DBZ Guy cast: What?!?
-Goku: I finally got a bathtub in my house. No more sitting in the toxic waste barrel.
*When Pan was born and deciding on her name*
-Videl: I wanna name her Hela!
-Gohan: Well, that name isn't exactly normal dear…
-Videl: I wanna name her HELA!!!
-Gohan: I am not naming my little girl after some goddess of Hell in Nordic Mythology.
-Videl: WHAT!?!
-Gohan: I am not with the weird fetish thing with anything doing with the devil.
-Videl: What about the Go- thing?
-Gohan: Well, you see that's different. Let me explain…
-Freeza *to a department store clerk*: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN PINK?!?!?!?
*At an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting*
-Bulma: Hello, I'm Bulma, and I'm an alcoholic.
-People in room: Hi Bulma!
-ChiChi: I'm ChiChi, and I am an alcoholic.
-People in room: Hi ChiChi!
-Bulma *to ChiChi*: You are right! We should really be able to pick up some guys here.
-Zarbon: Yeah, my hair is naturally this way.
-King Kai: I have been on the Jenny Craig plan for 1,000 years and lost .3 pounds! Thanx
Jenny. You saved this man's life.
-Piccolo: Hey, everyone! Look at my school yearbook. I was rated most cheerful and happy!
-Goku: I'm afraid of grass! Get it away! The torture!
-Vegeta *singing*: Joy to the world. All the boys and girls! Joy to the fishies in the
deep blue sea. Joy to you and me.
-Tien: I'm Third Eye Blinds new mascot!
-Cell *singing*: All you need is love! All you need is love! All you need is love! Love!
Love is all you need.
-Dende: Healer Namek Power!!!!
-Vegeta: Play it again, Sam. ((aka Casablanca))
(From Super_Saiyajin_Vegeta)
-Gohan-
yes, I was born on Earth. Why do you ask?
-Videl- **glances at Gohan's tail** oooh... no reason
-Captain Ginyu- I'm Sailor Ginyu baby yeah!!! Isn't that just the most shagadelic thing
you've ever heard?
-Android #18- I'm lonely Krillin. Veeeeery lonely. Are you lonely too, Krillin?
-Vegeta- You know, I'm really sick of all the variations on my name!!!! Can't
everyone just agree on one simple way to spell it??!!!
-Brolli- You know, I never really did care for fighting.
-Kaio-sama- Goku, get bent.
-Goku-**sniff sniff** but Kaio-sama, I thought we were friends!! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
-Kaio-sama- Baby
-Gohan-**to Piccolo** You know Piccolo, when we started training together, I never thought
it would end up like this.
-Piccolo-**Hops outta bed** you said it. Now where did I put those damn cigars?
-Koola- A lot of people think I hate Saiyans. It's not true!!! I actually fell in love
with one!!!
-Vegeta- Koola!! Don't tell them our secret!!
-Puar- Forget you Yamcha, I'm going to join the circus!
-Chaozu- Wait for me!!
-Oolong- I want to be a circus pig!!!
-Brolli- Kakkarotto, I love you man!!!
-Goku- Group hug!!
-Everyboy- Aaaaaaaawwww
-Androids #17 and 18- **Running** Leave us alone Cell!! we don't want to be absorbed that
way!!!
-Cell-**Chasing them with a fork, steak knife and BBQ sauce** C'mon guys, it'll only hurt
for a minute!!!
-Zarbon- Did I overpluck my eyebrows?
-Zarbon and Freeza- Oh I'm just a girl in the world!!
-Goku- For crying out loud!! It's not Flying Nimbus!! It's Kinto-un!!! Kinto-un!!!!!
-Goten-**in an English accent**-Also known as Candy Cloud
-Goku-Shut up Goten. I never liked you you big copy-cat!!
-Trunks-Yaaaaaaaayyy!! You tell him Goku!!
-Krillin- Oh sure, everyone pretends not to notice my names meaning, but I have!!! Why the
hell was I named chestnut????
-Piccolo- Don't worry Krillin, I was named after a damn flute!!!
-Goku- Yeah, that's right!! My Saiyajin name means carrot, but do you hear me complain?
-Vegeta- **pokes Krillins bald head** I don't know, I think your parents named you right.
After all, a chestnut doesn't have any hair either, Cue-Ball!! Ha ha ha!
-Everyone-VEGETA!!
-Krillin- **plops down on the floor and water spouts out of his eyes** I really do have
hair!! It's black!! I just shaved it!!! I'm a monk you know!!
-Everyone- Suuuuuure
(From Mika)
-Goku: "Mmm...beer..." *tilts his
head back and drools*
-Vegeta: "Aw, c'mon Bulma! *panics* No! Please don't take my N64 away!! I'll be good,
I promise!!"
-Bulma: "Hmph!"
-Gohan: "Hey Mr. Piccolo! BITE ME!!!"
-Piccolo: "Why you LITTLE-!"
-Chi-Chi: "Bring it on, Frieza!! I'll kick your @$$!!"
-Frieza: *cowers in a corner*
-Vegeta: *smiles cheerfully* "Maybe that Goku's not such a bad guy after all..."
*during a DBZ taping*
-Vegeta: "Now listen cueball-"
-Krillin: "Cueball!? *gets hysterical* CUEBALL!!?? That's it!!! I won't take
anymore of this abuse!!
*whips out his contract and starts ripping it up* _This_ is what I think of you and
your goofy show, Mr.Toriyama!!! I QUIT!!" *Krillin storms off the set*
-Vegeta: *Has a suprised look on his face* "Well, sheesh..."
-Gohan: *To Chi-Chi* "Stop your B*TCHIN'!!!" (a la South Park)
-Frieza: *singing* "I'm walkin' on sunshine! Yeah! And don't it feel good,
hey!!"
-Piccolo: "Super-dee-duper!!"
(From
Matt R.)
-Vegeta:I
did it all for the nookie!
-Vegeta:(singing) Everybody,
-Bulma: Yeah
-Vegeta:Wants my body,
-Bulma:Yeah
-Vegeta: Everybody wants my body right, I'm a bad ass, alright!(Backstreet Boys)
-Gohan: Pokeball go!
-No.17:I'm sorry.
-Goku:What did you say your name is?
-Freeza: Free.....
-Goku:(cuts him off) IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! (The Rock)
-Piccolo: Who's your daddy?
-Vegeta: Hey Bulma, with me you only need two dragon balls to call on my eternal dragon yo
have your wish come true.
-Japanese Dragon Ball Z: (singing) Dragon dragon, Rock the dragon, Dragon Ball Z!
-NADBZ: (singing) Cha La, Head Cha La!
-Goku (Japan): Kameyameya!
-Goku (America): Kamehameha!
-Goku: I got two words for you, SUCK IT! (DX)
(From
Piccolo's Pride)
-Vegeta:
Remember kids, violence doesn't solve anything!(kills someone with ki blast) But it sure
feels good!!
-Piccolo: Hey everyone! Look what I can do!(Sticks french fry in ear and pulls it out his
nose)
-Everyone: Yeah!!!!!!!
-Goku: Look what I can do!(punches so fast you can only see a blur)
-Vegeta: Man Kakorrot, why do you have to ruin everything! Piccolo! Do the fry thing
again!
-Piccolo: Okay, this time I'll do it with FIVE fries!(a la Pidochan)
-Mirai Trunks: How do you use this sword thingy-majiger?
-Piccolo: Man FUNimation! What exactly is wrong with Makankousappo? These Americans don't
know ANYTHING!
-Goku: Yah! What is wrong with Genki Dama? What's with this SPIRIT BOMB CRAP?!
-Vegeta: (walking through the forest smoking a cigarette)
-Goku:(in Smoky the Bear uniform)Only YOU can prevent forest fires!(pulls cigarette out of
Vegeta's hand and steps on it)
-Captain Ginyu: (to Freeza) Sometimes I run! Sometimes I hide! Sometimes I'm scared of
you! But all I really want is to hold you tight! Treat me right...
-Tien: What would happen if I wished for Choatzu to go to hell.....
-Vegeta: When I get all the Dragon Balls, I wish for a better hair-style!
-Goku: MOOON CRYYSTAL POOOWER!! Hey! Why isn't it working?
-Gohan: (strikes a pose)Mercury Star POOOWER!!
-Vegeta: (starts to dance)Mars Star POOOWER!!
-Piccolo: (doing stupid poses)Jupiter Star POOOWER!!
-Krillin: (starts to make peace signs)Venus Star POOOWER!!
-All: We are the Sailor Scouts!! We fight for justice and against evil!!
-Gohan: Hey dad, why haven't you transformed?
-Goku: I don't know!(starts to hit crystal)Something must have happened to the moon!
-Piccolo:(blushes)
-Chi Chi: Let's go kick Freeza's ***!!
-Goku:(to Chi Chi) Do I have to fight today?*whines*
-Vegeta: Yeah! Sailor Moon is on!!!!!!
-Krillin:(puts hand on bald head) 18, is my hair alright honey?
-Gohan: (sings) MMbop a dowedop by dowop dobop by dowop adowedop byyy dooo...(ala Hanson)
-Gohan: I hate Piccolo!
-Piccolo: Does my gi make me look fat?
-Freeza: I'm going to apologize to all the living Saiyans on the count of destroying their
planet.
-Goku: How do we fight?
-Bulma: Check out that *** on Piccolo! I would do anything for a piece of that!
-Chi Chi:(drools)
-Vegeta: Kakkarot! Let's go to Disneyland!
-Goku: Alpha,beta,gamma,delta, epsilon, zeta, eta, theta, iota...
-Gohan: I wanna go study for my test on Friday!
-Choazu: What's death?
-Cooler: Why did I get the name Cooler? I want my name to be Dr. Freeze!
-Goku: (to King Kai)Train me you over grown pudgy bug or I'll kick your ***!
-Vegeta: Goku!
(Note: Vegeta usually calls Goku by his Saiyan name. This is really lame.)
-Piccolo: Why don't girls like me?
-Goku: I have no idea.(giggles)
-Yamucha: Maybe it's the green skin.(looks at himslf in mirror and fixes hair)
-Piccolo: What do you know? Bulma turned you down for Vegeta!
-Vegeta: Hey! Is there something wrong with me Nameck?
-Goku & Yamucha:(giggle than start to laugh uncontrolably)
-Piccolo: (smiles cruelly)
-Vegeta:What?!
-Vegeta: KAMEHAMEHA!!!!!!!!
-Chi Chi: Goku. I'm leaving you for Piccolo!!
-Goku: (snore)
-Chi Chi: He took that well.
-Bulma: Vegeta is way better in bed than Goku is.
-Chi Chi: How would you know?
-Bulma:(silent)
-Chi Chi: You slept with him! KAMEHAMEHA!!!!
-Bulma:(sent to another dimension)
-Goku: Hey what happened Chi Chi?
-Chi Chi: Shut up man!! Gammit Gun Fire!!
(Goku dead)
-All Japenese Z Fighters: Cha La! Head Cha La!
-All American Z Fighters: Dragon! Dragon! Rock the Dragon!! Dragon Ball Z!!
-Tien: I love Cheesy Poofs! You love Cheesy Poofs! If we didn't eat Cheesy Poofs, we would
all be lame!!!
-Chi Chi:(to Bulma)I don't know about you, but I feel like kicking major *** today!
-Bulma:Me too!! Ya wanna spar?
-Chi Chi: Sure!
-King Kai:Hey Piccolo! You're right! My training style IS lame! And so are my jokes!
-Goku: Gohan, your mother is right. You shouldn't go into battle today. You have a test on
Friday and I want you to study!
-Chi Chi: Oh, Goku, let him go! It's only the SAT's!
(From
CereCereisme)
-Captain Ginyu (sees Goku for the first time): What a man! What a man! What a man! He's a
mighty good man.
-Piccolo(singing): I'd like to be under the sea in an octopus's garden in the shade.
-Frieza(during his exercise video): Now flex! Flex! Flex those thighs, ladies.
-Vegeta: Seriously, Jewel's songs really touch my heart!
-Goku: Hey guys! ChiChi finally got a tub and shower! No more bathing in a toxic waste
barrel for me.
-Bulma: That's it! No more scientific crap for me...I'm becoming a mountain man!
-Piccolo(singing): I'm a Caribbean amphibian. I like to hot in the big blue sea. Caribbean
amphibean. Won't you sing along with me?
-Trunks: Mom! Dad's making me watch Cinderella for the 9th time today!
-Gohan: I am going to pursue my life long dream...to become a ballerina!
-Buu: (singing) I don't care what my teachers say. I'm gonna be a super model.
-Krillian: Has anyone seen my beagle Snoopy?
-Jeice: I remember when Zarbon and I were Wham...those where the days.
-Bra: Daddy, will you have a tea party with me?
-Vegeta: Sure, only if I get the pink Barbie cup and hold Besty Westy.
-Captain Ginyu: C'mon Vogue! Let your body move to the music!
-Freiza: I'm just a girl.
-Yamcha: If you want to be a first class scrub, look here! Hi I'm Yamcha, and I know what
it is like not being understood by the female sex. If you buy my informational video, I
guarentee women willl be crawling all over you. Order now!
-Goku: Man, I can't get the hang of this.
-Gohan: Daddy, what are you doing?
-Goku: Cooking 10 cans of Chunky soup. Why?
-Gohan: It might be better if you open the can first.
-Bulma: I must confess...I am Sailor Neptune and I am in love with Haruka not Vegeta.
(sobs)
(At an alcohalics anomysis meeting)
-Piccolo: Hello, I am Piccolo and I'm an alcohalic.
-Vegeta: (Singing) Stop in the name of love! Before you break my heart!
-Bulma: I can bring home the bacon.
(From
Kinzoku Ryuu (Metal Dragon) *AKA* Lutrin)
-Chi-Chi
(singing): "I like 'em big and STUPID!"
-Gohan (flipping through channels): "Hey! I'm on TV! Dad! C'mere and see this!"
-Chibi Trunks: "When I grow up, I wanna be just like that Mirai no What's-his-name
guy!"
-Japanese DBZ fan (to American fan): "This is Trunks. His father is Vegeta... And
guess who his mother is! (Heh heh)"
-American fan: "Oh! I know this! It's that Freiza girl, right?"
-Japanese fan: *screams*
(Oops, wait! This happened to me...)
-Pan: "Damnit! Why'd they have to put that part at the end of GT?! I wanted to marry
Trunks!"
-Pan: "Brittney Spears is my role model!"
-Freezer: "I'd kill those FUNmation executives for making me gay, but one of 'em is
REALLY hot."
(From
Nick)
-Freeza:
"I give up."
-Goku: (To King Kai): "I got that pun! Make another one!"
-Piccolo: "Dammit Gohan! Leave me the hell alone!"
(From kablooie)
<phone rings>
-Dende: Taco Bell - Namek, Denda speaking
-Goku: Hi this is Goku, I'm phoning in an order fo rpickup in a couple of hours. I would
like 500 Grande meals and 1 Choco taco.
-Dende: Wow! Having a party?
-Goku: What? No, This is my dinner, Chi-Chi's out of town . . .
-Gohan: It's five o'clock! Time for some
brewskies!
-Piccolo: It's ten o'clock, do you know where your children are?
-Chi-chi: Here's Goten.
-Goku: Gohan's over there.
-Videl: I've got Pan.
-Vegeta: um . . .
-Bulma: WHAT?!
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