The Dubbies Speak Out

By Joseph A.

Listen up and listen good, because I’m only going to say this once. I’m sure my opinions have been stated time and again, but apparently they can’t be stated enough, because the general public refuses to either open their brains to other people’s opinions, or grow a brain at all. Now, I’m sure the vast majority of you would call me a "dubbie" however much I resent the term. It is true, the only Dragonball Z episodes that I have seen are the FUNimation (I’ll get to them in a second) dubbed ones. First off, what the hell is wrong with being a dubbie anyway? (Please note that I only use dubbie for lack of a better term.) It’s not our fault. Really. Apply half a brain cell (I’m sure it’s hard work for some of you) to thinking about why it’s our fault. If you come up with reasons why it is, do me two small favors. First, continue reading and think about it. Second, e-mail your opinions to me at deutschendude@yahoo.com. Anyway. If we can’t find subbed episodes, it’s not our fault that there aren’t any vendors in a convenient radius. What the f*ck are we supposed to do? Magically create one from thin air? I think not. Or maybe we’re just not interested. Ever think of that? We might, and we might not. Maybe we’re actually happy with the way things are and not interested in crusading against the establishment. Also, dubbies are not dumb about DBZ. Just because we haven’t seen the Japanese episodes doesn’t mean that we’re uneducated about it. That’s where the Internet (the very means that you are reading this by) comes in. There are sites that can clue us in as to what’ll happen in the future of DBZ. We might just survive after all. And even if we don’t have access to the Internet, that doesn’t mean that we’ll die from ignorance. You people disgust me. Also, to those of you who agree with me but say that there’s no fun in knowing what’s happening next (Underfaker, this doesn’t apply to you), think of this. Let’s use Super Saiyan as an example. I may know that sometime between now and then, Goku will indeed turn Super Saiyan. But what happens in between? Huh? What? So there. Next topic.

The voices. Ok. Again this goes back to the fact that we dubbies haven’t seen the Japanese DBZ episodes. We just cannot pass judgement on whether the Japanese or American voices are better. I am sick and tired of hearing the debate. If you must debate it, debate in your circles, not in the public forum. Could it be possible that you could be developing an unfounded bias in us dubbies, when we, if we want to judge them for ourselves, and do it accurately, should not have? We can however pass judgement on American Season 1&2 vs. Season 3 voices. By and large, I prefer the first two seasons. Chi-chi, Ox-King, Master Roshi, Bulma, Yajirobe, Oolong, and Recoome (for what short amount of time he’s in Season 3) bother me. I know, all of them are insignificant characters, but that’s my opinion. Next topic.

FUNimation. Oh boy. Now listen. All of you. For the most part, the editing is not FUNimation’s fault. Sure, they left out a few tears and Gohan making graves and the whole existence of Piccolo Daimoah, and that’s just plain lazy. But let’s face it, folks, with all the graphic violence and language and flipping off that goes on in Japanese DBZ, there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that we can get completely uncensored DBZ in America. Not unless we can get rid of the republicans (which would resolve so many of the problems we have today). We live in a puritanical, republican dominated society, and unless that changes, there ain’t a damn chance we can get uncensored DBZ. If you’re that possessed, than go and fork over the money for subbed DBZ of varying quality. I’m not that obsessed.

And finally, I leave you with a question. And this is to those who I guess could be called "subbies." Why the hell do you think you are so abusive to us dubbies? If any one of you can come up with a really good answer, I’ll put it in another essay.

Until you offend me again,

The Dark Saiyan

(aka Joseph A.)

PS: Many thanks go out to Jonathan Lindsey, aka The Underfaker.