When Hell Freezes Over - Chapter 10

Vegeta was in a rush, it had taken Bulma 20 minutes to find something suitable for this meeting and it had taken Vegeta 10 minutes to put it on. He was wearing a dark blue skirt suit, which didn’t look a thing like anything else in Bulma’s wardrobe. For a start it covered every single square centimeter of flesh and was about as attractive as a straight jacket, it felt like a straight jacket too, the material was so stiff

‘Gosh I look awful’ thought Bulma ‘but I just don’t know if it’s enough to deter Hasslehoff! Well, I tried my best’ Bulma thought

They rushed through the corridors of the capsule corp. and finally reached the conference room 15 minutes late.

“Good luck…err…’woman’”

“Humph” said Vegeta as he walked through the door

Bulma rushed off to the security guard’s room were she planned to watch the whole meeting, she couldn’t just relax at home knowing Vegeta was dealing with these people…

She reached the room just in time to see Vegeta begin the presentation…

Vegeta opened the door to the conference room to be greeted by six men, all in what appeared to be the same gray suit, except for one who stood out in a vibrant red shirt which appeared to have a few buttons missing and painfully tight leather trousers…

‘Must be Hasslehoff’ thought Vegeta

“Ah good afternoon miss briefs, late again I see, they must be keeping you on your toes” Vegeta turned to see a giant walrus of a man sitting at the head of the table with a huge grin on his face

“Oh, can’t complain…” replied Vegeta “well actually, I could but I won’t” he corrected

This earned him a good-humored chuckle from most of the room, except for Hasslehoff who merely winked when he caught Vegeta’s eye

Vegeta shuddered and continued with the presentation. It went well, Bulma was obviously very experienced at this sort of thing, their attention didn’t seem to waver from him for the entire thing ‘then again’ Vegeta thought ‘they could merely be ogling the woman’

“And so that gentlemen concludes my presentation” Hasslehoff applauded him, earning a strange look from almost everyone in the room, but he didn’t seem to mind, his attention was fixed on ‘miss briefs’

“Very impressive miss briefs” he said, like vegeta’d just jumped through a hoop for his amusement

“Thank you” Vegeta reluctantly replied

“Oh your more than welcome” he replied sleazily

“Oh do be quiet!” said the walrus man “Miss. briefs please continue”
”I was just going to open the floor to questions” Vegeta replied somewhat grateful to the fat guy for intervening, he was starting to feel nauseous

Bulma mean while had just remembered that she forgot to warn Vegeta about Hasslehoff and watched in horror as Vegeta sat down in the only available space, at the head of the table with Hasslehoff on his left…

‘This is not going to be pretty’ thought Bulma in despair

Back in the conference room the questions had started

“Miss briefs, as you know we’re going to need a date for the project’s completion for marketing purposes” said one non-descript guy in a suit, next to the fat guy. As Vegeta was listening to this, he felt something brush his leg…

He looked down confused and scratched the ‘itch’ on his leg

“Miss briefs?”
”Uh… yes?”
”Is something the matter you seem distracted?”
”Oh no I’m fine, just an itchy leg that’s all. To answer your question the product should be ready in two weeks time”
”two weeks?” Said another non-descript guy in a suit this time on the right hand side of the fat guy…

As Vegeta waited for the second guy to finish his objections he felt it again only this time it definitely wasn’t an itch, it stroked his leg up and down twice and then stopped

‘What the..?’

“Miss briefs?”

“Um yeah, I’m afraid it really can’t be any earlier, you simply cannot rush the creative process and quality needs time.”
”will sthirley w’sthud be abe do sthe a dimonsthtraton?”

This time Vegeta ignored the mysterious leg rubbing and pondered how it was possible for one man to have so many speech impediments ‘a bit of a lisp, yeah right thanks a bunch woman’

 “I’m sthorry, I mean I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch that…”
”He said we want to see a sample” said a third man in a suit, obviously used to his co-worker’s *accent*

“Well I can certainly schedule a demonstration for you some time next week, I’ll get my secretary right on it”

‘What is that?’ thought Vegeta as he felt his foot being gently batted about under the table. Suddenly it clicked. He looked at Hasslehoff, who winked at him.

‘Oh dear kami… twice in two days? What are you trying to do to me?’

The fat guy, meanwhile had been trying to ask how exactly he could be sure that they had even started working on this product when he saw Vegeta’s face drop suddenly

“Miss briefs is something wrong? Seriously, if you weren’t feeling well then we could have re- scheduled again…”

“I’m not ill” Vegeta replied bluntly

Bulma saw that Vegeta was about to explode ‘I recognize that expression even on my own face! Damn and he was doing so well!!’
”Then what on earth is causing you to be so distracted miss briefs, I don’t take kindly to being ignored!” the walrus huffed

“YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT’S WRONG? YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW?” Vegeta snapped, this was just too much.

‘Oh no here it comes’ thought Bulma and closed her eyes refusing to watch her dad’s company’s good name dragged through the mud

“Yes miss briefs I do” replied the walrus without hesitation

‘HASSLEHOFF HERE IS WHATS WRONG!!” the younger men in suits giggled “I DON’T THINK IT’S VERY PROFFESIONAL TO PLAY FOOTSY WITH THE VICE PRESIDENT OF A COMPANY THAT MAY BE VITAL FOR YOUR COMPANY’S SUCCESS!!!”

“Footsy?” the walrus was temporarily confused “Reginald is this true?”

Even more giggles erupted as Hasslehoff’s real name turned out to be funnier than his nickname

“I don’t have a clue what she’s talking about uncle frank! I was just listening to the meeting!!” Reginald whined
”YOU LYING TOAD!!! YOU THINK YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE THAT JUST BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN???” Vegeta was outraged, just because he was a woman at the moment didn’t mean this idiot could just walk all over him!

“ I don’t know what she’s talking about! Honestly uncle frank!!”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT? Well then” Vegeta changed tack “what is THIS??”

As he said this Vegeta pulled Reginald’s leg out from under the table exposing his bare foot to those assembled. The suits gasped as the walrus turned purple

“REGINALD!!”

“But uncle!”
”GET OUT YOU ARE FIRED YET AGAIN!! I KNEW I SHOULD NEVER HAVE LISTENED TO MY HALF WIT BROTHER WHEN HE RECOMMENDED YOU!!”

Reginald stalked out sulking and muttering under his breath about ‘the crazy blue haired hag…’

“Miss briefs, I cannot begin to tell you how ashamed I am of my nephew. Please forgive me and let us continue our meeting”

“Of course” Vegeta smirked.

Bulma meanwhile had unplugged her ears and finally looked back at the screen

“Is it over?” she whispered, terrified of finding out exactly how much trouble Vegeta had caused.

She was shocked to see that no blood had been spilt and the meeting appeared to still be continuing in a civilized way. ‘Wait a minute… where’d Hasslehoff go??’ now Bulma was really confused…