When Hell Freezes Over - Chapter 4

They had reached the kitchen and Bulma was now eating faster than she had ever eaten before… nothing seemed to fill her up! Vegeta meanwhile couldn’t understand how just two sandwiches really did seem to be all he could eat.

Bulma decided that while he was sitting down eating was probably the best time to discuss this situation with Vegeta. Normally he was in his best moods when eating and she felt it was time to map out some ground rules for the time they spent in each other’s bodies.

“Err… Vegeta?” she said through a mouth full of chicken.

“What is it woman?”

“I think we have a few problems we need to discuss… this whole body swapping thing really is throwing up a lot of complications…”

“Yeah I know what you mean” he said thoughtfully

“You do?” Bulma was genuinely surprised

“Yes of course! How am I supposed to keep up with my training without my body??”

“You jerk! Trust you to think of your training at a time like this!” Bulma went on while Vegeta was ignoring her, quietly thinking of a solution to his problem.

“Hmmm” Bulma stopped and suddenly wondered what he was thinking, “Technically my body still belongs to me and therefore I should get to decide what you do with it…” Bulma instantly saw were this was leading.

“Vegeta if I’m going to have to train in the gravity machine then you have to go on a date with Yamcha!”

“You can’t make me!!”

“Vegeta as long as I have your body I can make you do whatever I want!” she smirked, for once she had the upper hand and she planned to enjoy it.

“You wouldn’t make me!!”

“Wouldn’t I?”

“Ok ok no training!” he sulked for a while and then got up to leave the table.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“To watch the TV… unless you regard that as a violation of your privacy!”

“No that’s fine but you’d better stay there at least until I’ve finished eating!!”

“I don’t see what else I’d have to do… I can’t train and your body’s not hungry…”

“I get the point just go!”

45 minutes later Bulma finished eating. ‘I just hope I don’t get the munchies in the middle of the night’ she thought.

Vegeta was in the living room watching ‘Casablanca’

“Vegeta why are you watching that?”

“The TV guide said it had a war in it… instead there’s lots of whiney humans, I hope they all die in the end”

“Figures” she said exhausted and mentally slapping herself for even considering that Vegeta ‘prince of the emotionally retarded’ would watch a romance out of enjoyment.

‘ Then again he’s not making any move to change the channel’ she thought.

“Vegeta where are we going to sleep??”

By now it was mid afternoon and they’d been up all night what with the accident and the arguing, Bulma was exhausted.

“I wasn’t planning on sleeping” he replied

“Vegeta you’re not a saiyajin right now… you can’t just stay awake all week no matter how strong your will power is, you’ll just collapse!”

“Well what do you suggest idiot! And bear in mind that I will absolutely not leave you alone with my body!!”

Bulma gulped ‘here goes’ she thought

“Um… we could share a bed and tie our wrists together so neither of us can go wandering in the middle of the night with the other’s body…”

Vegeta looked very worried by the idea of sharing a bed with her

“Oh come on Vegeta it’s not like I’m gonna hit on my own body!!”

“It’s not that you loud mouthed fool!!!”

“Then there shouldn’t be a problem… unless you can’t sleep without your teddy bear?”

“Don’t be absurd! The prince of all saiyajin does not need such childish toys!!”

“Fine then we’re decided!!”

“Fine” ‘I come here to blow up the planet and I wind up sharing a bed with one of its puny inhabitants!!!’ Vegeta silently sulked to himself as they went off in search of handcuffs…

An hour later they had found some handcuffs just in time… Vegeta was more exhausted than he had ever been ‘stupid humans just can’t hack the pace I’m used to!! Ah well at least I’ll sleep through most of this hellish nightmare!!’ Bulma placed the key to the handcuffs on a chain around her neck.

“Which side of the bed do you want Vegeta?”

“It’ll have to be the right seeing as the handcuffs on my left wrist and I want to sleep on my back”

“Good thinking Vegeta!”

“Humph”

They got into the bed and Bulma switched off the lamp

“Nighty night Vegeta! I’ll wake you up in the morning when it’s time to take the cuffs off”

“Whatever woman”

“You know Vegeta I’m not technically a woman right now…”

“Fine! Whatever FREAKSHOW!”

‘ I suppose that’ll have to do’ she thought as she closed her eyes, finding it difficult to sleep with the problem of how to tackle the shower in the morning hanging over her head.

All in all they had a pretty eventless night (sorry if I disappointed anyone but you’ll have to wait a while for that!). They both fell asleep pretty quickly after a day of injuries and arguing.

The Next Morning…

“Vegeta?”

“Hmm?”

“VEGETA!!”

Vegeta jumped up nearly taking the left arm of Bulma’s body off as the weight of his own body dragged on it through the handcuffs attached to his wrist.

“Oh so it wasn’t a nightmare?” Vegeta groaned as Bulma reached under her spandex. She found the key and undid the handcuffs; with great difficulty considering only her left arm was free…

“No it was real and now we need to sort out how we’re going to shower and get dressed without coming across any awkward situations”

“Simple, you close your eyes while I undress, wash and dress my body, and then you do the same for me… that way we only see our own bodies…”

“Great idea Vegeta!!” For a second Bulma thought how nice it was of him to preserve her modesty like that… after all she knew he didn’t much care if she saw him

‘That is, providing he doesn’t peek!!’

“Humph” was his only answer.

After the showering and the fiasco as Vegeta complained about keeping his eyes shut for an hour while Bulma chose an outfit… ‘She could be doing anything while I just stand here like a fool…’ he thought… they went down stairs for some breakfast. Yet again Bulma was in the process of pigging out while Vegeta pushed away the last of 3 sandwiches claiming he just didn’t like how they tasted. And then the phone rang… the two stared at each other while it continued to ring and Bulma began to understand what Vegeta meant by sensitive hearing..

“Aren’t you going to get that?” she stated, a little annoyed.

“No matter what happens woman I will never be reduced to answering that contraption…”

“Aww come on Vegeta… I can’t answer it it’ll arouse suspicion if they hear you answering the phone!!”

Vegeta shook his head and Bulma knew she had lost

She picked up the phone and in her most Vegeta like voice barked

“Who dares to interrupt the training of the strongest saiya jin ever born???”

At this Vegeta smirked… he was pleased with her effort to keep his pride in tact. Suddenly though he heard her falter…

“…Oh its you yamch…I mean you pathetic human weakling!!!”

‘How am I going to carry this off? I can’t put Vegeta on the phone can I?’