When Hell Freezes Over - Chapter 7

The next day, Bulma and Vegeta had entirely forgotten about their argument and were mind numbingly bored.

“Grrrr, I hate being in your body woman! I want to train!! I’m slowly losing grip on my sanity… how many hours has it been now? A hundred?”

Bulma looked at her watch and slurred lethargically

“ 53… hours… and… 23… minutes…. Approximately”

“Why are you talking so slow? Are you trying to aggravate me or is it just something that comes naturally to you??”

“Neither…I was…just… trying… to…. Waste … some…time.”

“AAAARGH! I can’t take it anymore! I need something to do NOW!!!”

“We could play a board game”

“What’s a board game woman?”

“You know, you’ve got a little card board matt with little spaces drawn on it, and cute little pieces that you move…”

“That sounds utterly pointless”

“Well in a way that’s kind of the ‘point’ of a board game, you’re meant to play them when you really don’t have anything better to do”

Vegeta shuddered

“I hope my life never gets that bad that I have nothing better to do than play pointless games with a crazy witch like you!!!”

Bulma wasn’t really offended by his remark; she could understand why he’d be cranky. She was supposed to have a big meeting at capsule corp. today; this body-switching thing was turning into a real bummer.

Ten minutes later Vegeta realized his life had gotten ‘that bad’ and they sat down to play monopoly. The only problem was, Vegeta didn’t appear to understand the concept of ‘money’

“What exactly is the point of these little pieces of paper” to Vegeta they vaguely resembled tissues, he hoped that Bulma wasn’t planning on crying if she lost…

“That’s the pretend money Vegeta”

“Money?”

“You know the stuff you buy stuff with”

“I’ve never come across it before”

“What do you mean, you’ve seen me shop..”

“Yes, I’ve always wondered about that, I thought they gave you stuff for free”

“What? Why?”

“Because whenever we went to pay for stuff, you handed them a piece of plastic and then they hand it back, you don’t give them anything …”

“Wait a minute, you’re joking right? This is one of your jokes were if I believe you you’ll laugh and call me gullible!! I mean come on Vegeta even Goku knows what money is and he can hardly tell a man from a woman!”

“Don’t be ridiculous woman”

Vegeta looked ashamed, he felt like the village idiot…he felt like … Kakkarot… he had a sudden urge to shower…

“But, you used to sell the planets you purged to frieza…”

“Yes, but there was no ‘money’ involved in our dealings”

“What did you trade them for then? What did the saiya jin get out of it?”

“Our lives”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about the whole ‘working for an evil space pirate’ deal”

“Humph, airhead”

“Me? An airhead?” Bulma roared, “look whose talking Mr. nice muscles shame about the vocabulary that only stretches to variations on three phrases-

‘Woman I want food’

‘I am the prince of the saiyajins’

And, my personal favorite ‘I will beat Kakkarot’

I mean, come on Vegeta…”

Vegeta was in a quiet rage and then he exploded.

“ENOUGH!!! I’VE HEARD ENOUGH OF YOUR NONSENSE! DAMN YOU DAMN YOUR FEABLE EXCUSE FOR A BODY AND DAMN MONOPOLY!!!”

And with that he stormed out of the house to go cool down in the capsule corps grounds.

‘It would make it a lot easier to keep my composure if I could still blow things up’ he thought. The fact that if things really started to drive him mad he could simply remove them from this dimension had always calmed Vegeta. If someone annoyed him he could just find comfort in the fact that, if it were worth the effort, he could just blast them and be done with it, simple but effective.

 He was so deep in thought that, as he was turning the corner, he bumped straight into someone coming the other way

“Watch where you’re going baka” he said under his breath and was about to carry on walking when the person grabbed him by the arm and literally spun him around to face them.

“What is the meaning of…” Vegeta started outraged but was cut off by the other person’s lips on his.

Vegeta used every ounce of strength in Bulma’s body to remove them, and then saw whom they belonged to….

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!”

Yamcha stood before him, grinning like an idiot. Vegeta lost it, he was scarred for life, he was mortified, he was down on his knees on the verge of tears..

“Oh dear kami, take me now, have mercy!” he screamed at the sky in agony “Spare my last ounce of sanity and send me to hell!!!”

Yamcha’s expression changed to confusion.

“Bulma… will you just get up off the floor and hear me out?”

‘I must leave this place’ Vegeta thought in a daze. He started walking away only to be followed

“Listen, I know why you’re angry at me”

“No, you haven’t the faintest idea!”

‘Oh the irony’ thought Vegeta ‘he’s just scarred me for life and now he’s going to apologise to me for missing a date with the woman or something equally inconsequential’

“No really Bulma… I get it this time! I understand”

“Listen to me you idiot! There is nothing, nothing in this world that you could say to me that would make me feel anything but the urge to pull your still beating heart from your chest and show it to you right now so LEAVE ME IN PEACE!!”

Yamcha didn’t flinch; he was determined to get his message across. They reached the door to bulma’s house. Inside, Bulma heard them arguing and went to the open window to listen in.

“You’re upset because I haven’t proposed yet aren’t you?” said Yamcha

“Um, well, now you come to mention it….. NOOOOO!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

Bulma was almost crying with laughter, ‘poor Vegeta, this must really be hurting his pride… but it’s sooo funny’

“Bulma…” Yamcha tugged at vegeta’s arm while he scrabbled at the door, too preoccupied to look for a key he started to pound on it screaming

“Let me in!!! For the love of god woman let me in!!!”

Just as Bulma opened the door Yamcha blurted it out

“Bulma, I love you, marry me?”