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It all started in mid March '98 on the Daily
Dragon Ball Chapters utterly annoying and eternally meaningless Message Board. A
spiffy DB fan that went by the name of Tianyu began a thread that listed a bunch of things
that the characters DB would most likely never say. It then grew into a list of
gigantic proportions, and well, here it is today in all of its whacked out and totally
psycho glory!!! It ended up being so funny, that it had to be shown to the whole
world! So without further delays, here is the list of the funniest un-said DB(Z)
quotes!
Don't forget, all the newest additions begin on Page 12
Or you could always jump to any of the other sections in the Never Say archive:
Page 2 - Page 3 - Page 4 - Page 5 - Page 6 - Page 7 - Page 8 - Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 |
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Things people in the DB world would never say!
Since she was the one who started it all, Tianyu's quotes get to go first!
-Goku: "Fighting? What's that?"
-Vegeta: "Wow, these romance novels
are good. I'll ask Bulma for more."
-Kurilin: "I have a nose!"
-Piccolo: "Eww, look at all the
yucky blood!"
-Vegeta: "Does this outfit make me
look fat?"
-Chi Chi: "Gohan, stop studying. I
want you to concentrate on your training."
-Vegeta: "No Bulma, not
tonight."
-Brolie: "I do have a brain. It's
just that I don't show it."
-Future Trunks: "I got my sword from
sell-a-vision for only $39.99!"
-Oolong: "Playboy magazines are
trash. They should be burned."
-Kurilin: "Something smells fishy
here..."
-Bojack: "Please don't hurt me! I'll
be good! I'll be good!"
-Goku: Vegeta, I can't stand it anymore!
I LOVE YOU!
-Vegeta: I LOVE YOU TOO! I though
when I married Bulma, it would get her out of the way for us!
-#16: "Burn all plants! Kill all
animals!"
-Vegeta: "Sorry Goku, I can't spar
with you today. I've got some gardening to do."
-Piccolo: "Look how far I can stuff
these french fries up my nose!"
-Chi Chi: "Ooh, baby, let's get
*down*!"
-Vegeta: "SOMEBODY KILL THE BUG!
SOMEBODY KILL THE BUG!"
-Dr. Gero: "Building cyborgs and
fighting Goku is too much work. I've decided to rededicate my lab to the making of Silly
Putty!"
-Bulma: "Sorry Bra, I don't know how
to fix TV sets. I guess you'll have to miss your cartoon show."
-Vegeta: "Bulma, can I borrow your
nail polish?"
- Bulma: "Hello, you've reached
123-BABE. Would you like to know what I'm wearing?"
-Goku: "Bulma, is that
you?!"
-Gohan: "My father really
sucks."
-Piccolo: "I need a new hair
brush."
-Trunks: "I've decided to become a
monk."
-Chi Chi: "Oh, lookie at that guy
over there! He's so fiiiiiine!"
-Chi Chi: "Go ahead and spoil your
dinner, see if I care."
-Bojack and co.: "We have great
fashion sense!
-Vegeta: *sniff* "That 'Titanic'
movie was so sad!"
-Goku: "Chi Chi, can you read 'The
Three Little Pigs' to me?"
-Bulma: "I have no money!"
-Chaozu: "I'm a girl!"
-Vegeta: "But Bulma, I don't want to
go to the haunted house. It's so scary!"
-Goku: "Yay! Chi Chi signed me up
for school! Now I can have a proper education!"
-Cell: "When I kill people, that
doesn't mean that you can judge me as a person who has become mad and want to blow up the
earth in a desperate attempt to kill my enemies."
-Bulma: "I love you, Master
Roshi!"
-Nappa: "Damn, I've lost my
wig!"
-Bulma: "Dinner time!"
-Vegeta: "But Bulma, Teletubbies
is on!"
-Goku: "Looks like I've won the
chess game again, Bulma. Pay up."
-Brolie: "I have an I.Q of
1,000,000,000,000,000."
-Mr. Satan: "Can someone *gag* help
me *cough* lift this *grunt* feather?"
-Freeza: "My makeup! Where's my
makeup!"
(From Barry)
-Goku: "I'm tired of
fighting..."
-Vegeta: "C'mere, Bulma, and give
Daddy some sugar!"
-Piccolo: "I'm giving up on my
training and opening a bikini store to meet chicks."
-Goku: "Chi-chi, shut the @#%$ up!
Don't make me come over there!"
-Vegeta: "You're right, honey. I'll
be more responsive to your needs. Forgive my selfish ways..."
-Vegeta & Piccolo: "Where the
@%$# is the remote? Oprah's on!!"
-Goku: "Gohan, (points to Videl)
THIS is a woman. They're a *lot* more fun than fighting, believe me!"
-Piccolo: "Anyone wanna play
'Twister'?"
-Vegeta: "I'm glad you're the better
fighter, Kakarotto! Can we still be pals?"
-Goku: "Cell? Buu? You guys deal
with it; I'm on vacation..."
-Vegeta: "Being a Saiya-jin prince
isn't all it's cracked up to be..."
-Piccolo: "Gohan! Beer me!"
-Piccolo: "Must conentrate...focus
energy....aw, damned Rubik's Cube!"
-Goku: "Calculus is easy, Gohan! You
just have to apply yourself harder! Here, let me show you..."
-Goku: "Gohan, Videl looks easier
than a 2-piece jigsaw puzzle. You should be be able to score in no time!" (sound of
Chi-Chi's frying pan on Gokou's head)
-Kurilin: "#18, get your sorry ass
over here! Don't make me come over there! And bring me the @#$% remote! Oprah's on!"
-Vegeta: "How's my hair?" (ala
Gary Shandling)
-Vegeta: "I don't know which I like
better; the cream drapes or the peach. Bulma! Which matches the new carpet better? Boy,
interior decorating is tougher than fighting Cell!"
-Vegeta (drunk): "You guys are
great! (slur) I love you, man!"
-Vegeta: "I want my Mommy!"
-Vegeta: "Hello, I'm Prince Vegeta,
and welcome to Masterpiece Theater!"
(From SSJ3 Gokou)
-Buu: "1-800-98-JENNY"
-Trunks (to Bulma): "Mom don't make
me beat your ass again, get me some damn Koolaid!"
-Vegeta: "Gokou... I love you
man!!!!!"
-Gokou: "You're not getting my
Bud-Light, Veggie."
-Roshi: "Women disgust me."
-Gohan: "Hey Piccolo! Eat my
shorts!"
-Bulma: "Hey Veggie, come give me
some of that good loving before I kick your ass!!!"
-Vegita: "Vegita 3:16 says I just
whooped your ass!!!'
-Gokou: "Hey Chi Chi, bend over so I
can have some tossed salad with my dinner."
-Chi Chi: "Damn, that Vegita has an
ass to die for!!!"
-Vegeta: "Bulma I'm really
gay."
-Bulma: "I should have known by the
way you stare at Gokou,Trunks,and even my dad!"
(From Scuzzy)
-Goku: "Common sense?
Sure I got plenty of that but I just choose to ignore it!"
-Vegeta: "Hadoken!"
-Goku: "Up, up and away!"
-Vegeta: "I wish Kakarotto was more
sensitive about MY feelings..."
-Goku: "I'm sorry, Chichi! This
never happened to me before..."
-Vegeta:
"KA-ME-HA-ME-HAAAAAAAAAA!!"
(From Silver Bolt)
-Vegeta: "Does this pink dress
bring out my eyes?"
(some ones I made up)
-Future Trunks: "No Dad, I don't
wanna train in that @#!$&%^ Room of Spirit & Time! I just wanna go to the mall and
pick up some chicks!"
-Vegeta: "The shirt says 'BADMAN',
but I assure you that it's not true!"
-Future Trunks: (singing) "I'm too
sexy for my shorts, too sexy for my shorts, I'm too sexy, yeah...!"
-Tien: (to Chaozu) "Dammit kid, stop
followin' me around! I was hopin' I got rid of you when ya died with Nappa, but
nooooo, I had to meet up with you again even in the after-life!"
-Zarbon: "I'm not gay!
I'm only drawn that way!"
-Dr. Gero: "I'm not only the
President of Plastic Dome Brains for Men, I'm also a client!"
-The Ginyu Team: "We're
considering leaving the fighting biz and starting our own acid rock band."
-Tien: "Not only am I a fighter, but
in my spare time, I do stunt doubles for Mr. Clean!"
-Broli: "I've given up my evil ways
and am taking up flower arranging."
-Trunks: "Hey Kurilin, I
thought we told you to stop calling those 900 numbers!"
(From Jennifer)
-Piccolo: *sheepishly and blushing
(purple)* "Bulma, do you have time to go to the mall with me? I need a new
wardrobe..."
-Bulma: "You are so cute, Muten
Roshi!"
-Veggie-chan: "Want to enter ballet
school, Goku-chan?"
-Veggie-chan *smiles brilliantly*:
"Don't I look lovely in this bridal gown?"
-Vegeta: *wearing a KISS THE COOK apron*
"Kiss me, Bulma!"
-Trunks: "Gosh, I'm getting flabby,
must go to the gym, or the chicks won't like me anymore!"
-Goku: "Gohan, can you teach me
algebra?"
-#17: "I love you, Cell!"
-#18: "Kuri-chan, would you want me
to massage your back? ^^;"
-Shenlong: "Let's boogie, man!"
-Goku: "2x+(-6x) equals -4x..."
-Veggie-chan: "Don't you think I'll
look nice if I permanently curled my hair?"
-Veggie-chan: "Bra, you are
sooooooooooooooooooo cute!"
-Vegeta: *whine* "I also want to be
on the Grand Tour!"
(From Anonymous)
-Mutenroshi: "Okay, I admit. I'm
a gay homosexual."
-Oolong: "You're right. Panties are
disgusting."
-Buu: "Hmm. By golly, I do have an
overly rotund belly don't I? oooh hoo hoo Buu, grrrhmmm excuse me for that loud and
obnoxious sound."
( Man With the One Pronged Fork)
-Picollo: "I'm having some
serious trouble expressing my true feelings with words. So, I have these hand
puppets."
-Picollo: "I'm having some serious
trouble expressing my true feelings with words. Instead, I'm going to use interperative
dance."
-Kamisama: "Just look at me. I'm a
pretty boy."
-Chi Chi: "You know, occasionally,
everyone gets a vaginal yeast infection, even me. And it use to take a whole week for the
anti-fungal creams to work. But now I can cure my vaginal infections in only three days,
with new Vagisol 4. Now nothing can keep me from feeling less than fresh."
-Vegita: "After all of these
years... fighting just doesn't seem enough any more. I feel so empty. I'm gonna join the
WCW. Maybe I can get some respect. Just the other day, I was walking down the street, and
some kids started to make fun of me. It really hurt my self-esteem. Maybe I'm
getting too old".
-Picollo: "I've got something to
admit to you guys. I really like little girls. Twelve year olds get me off."
-Trunks: "I went on the Goofy
Barnstormer ride at Disney Land... It scared the sh*t out of me."
-Kurilin: "I couldn't go on
that ride by myself, I was too short."
-Goku: "When I go on those things, I
get kind of dizzy, and then I pass out."
-Chi Chi: "You guys are such
women. I love rollercoasters. Cedar Point in Ohio has the best rides."
(From OmegaWarrior)
-Bulma & ChiChi:
"Fu-sion!"
-#18 : "I don't want your
money!"
-#16 : "Mmmm. . .Chicken."
-Buu : "I should see a
dentist."
-ChiChi: "Don't bother Gohan while
he's studying, Kakaroto."
-Vegeta: "I should see a
barber."
-Goku: "I'm full."
-Freeza: "Zarbon-san... Where's the
#$%@! is the remote, Oprah's on!"
(From Scott)
-Vegeta: "I love you. What
should we do now Kakkarot?"
-Goku: "I said study Gohan,
NOW!"
-Goku: "Oh my god! He's killed
Kurilin, YOU BASTARDS!" (a la South Park)
-Kurilin: "I'm the strongest
being alive! Nobody can hurt me! MWA HA HA!"
-Kurilin: "I'm a chick magnet!"
-Gohan: "Cram it with walnuts,
Piccolo!"
-Trunks: "I'm gonna die my hair.
Purple hair makes me look gay!"
(From Uber)
-Vegeta: "Let's go to Disney
Land!"
-Vegeta: "Anyone got any hair
gel?"
-Vegeta: "Look Bulma, I just built a
time machine!"
-Piccolo: "Come on Gohan, make the
dragon dance again!"
-Gohan: "Mom, do my hair again, it
won't stay down!"
-Future Trunks: "D#*%! I wish I had
Dad's hair!"
-Nappa: "I'm Super Saiyan! No I'm
not! Now I am! How can you tell?"
-Nappa: "I'm not only the presedent
of hair club for men, I'm also a member!"
-Nappa: "Mr. Clean is my Hero!"
*singing* "Mr. Clean, Mr.Clean.."
-Freiza: "Zarbon, does this shade of
lipstick suit me or should I try black? I really want to impress Vegeta you know."
-Cell: "Please, Ridley Scot, You
know I'm perfect for the part of the Alien!"
-Broli: "..And here is my BA in
language
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